Monthly Archives: July 2009

There’s nothing like a klutz owning a klutzy dog…

 

     I’ve said it many times I am a klutz.  Now I’m telling you so is Gavin.  Occasionally Gavin follows Dear Hubby upstairs when he comes to wake me.  Gavin loves the idea of a good bed bouncing wake up call for me.  This morning was one of those days.  Even Patty got into the act.

     So there I was, helpless, under my covers, with two dogs and a husband pouncing on me.  DH thinks it’s hysterical because when they get the chance it is dogs gone wild.  It is on the bed, off the bed, on the bed, off the bed, leaping higher and higher, getting wilder with each leap…you get the idea.  Meanwhile I’m getting bruised, bashed, and smooched on by the two idiot dogs and DH is giggling like a fool.

     Finally, after I’ve suffered enough DH yells, “downstairs!”  And the pups are off down the hall and the steps like a shot.

     I weakly crawled out from under the covers and I notice a bit of blood on my bottom sheet near where they’d been hopping about.  Great, I strip the bed so I can get the bloodstain out of my BRAND NEW sheets.  I get dressed and carry the bedding down the hall.  I notice more blood—not a lot just spots of it on the floor. 

     I called downstairs, “Honey, check the dogs someone is bleeding.  Better check Gavin first.”

     I was right it was Gavin.  He broke a claw again.  Normally when Gavin does it, it means a vet run because the broken claw is never completely broken off.  At least this time he did it right, and we were easily able to stop the bleeding—dang, broken claws bleed like crazy.  He does this often, don’t know why, how, or how to stop it from happening.  It’s like me spraining ankles—I do it with great frequency.

The underpinnings of a road trip

 

     I have my route planned out.  I even retyped and printed the directions from the first part of the trip in large, bold print so I can read it while driving at night.  Yes, even with an interior light on I’d have trouble with the tiny print out of the AAA Triptik.  No, I’m not blind but I do wear bifocals.  Okay, so I’m half blind….

     Tomorrow I’m off to the grocery store to make certain that Dear Hubby has what he wants in the fridge and that I have plenty of easy-to-eat-while-driving snacks for the car.  I’m not paying for food on the road.  I’m even taking a thermos of coffee and cooler full of Starbucks Mochacinos.  The only stops I’ll be making are to fill the gas tank and well…remove the coffee I put in me.

     Tuesday I’ll pack my suitcase, fill the gas tank, and set out my list of what to load in the car.  Yes, I do a list.  If I didn’t I’d forget something.  I even take my list along so when I pack to leave up there I know I have everything back in the car where it belongs.  I also leave instructions for Dear Hubby so he doesn’t forget things he needs to do when I’m gone—like water the potted tomato plants.

The gardens needed the rain

 

     It was almost time to drag out the hose and water the gardens.  After so much rain there for a while, we had a nice dry spell, but we were due for some rain.  The rain began around seven tonight and I’m jumping in here in between storm cells.

     During one break between downpours, I went outside with the flashlight and checked around the pond.  Dear Hubby calls this doing my frog count because I always tell him how many I’ve seen after I do my walk around each night.  They certainly were active in the yard tonight.  I think they were enjoying the rain.  I counted nine bullfrogs.  I don’t often see more than four or five most nights.

     One small bullfrog took my presence as a threat.  He panicked, screamed, and took off as if the hounds of hell were on his water tight butt.  The poor thing careened into a plastic coffee can (we have it near the pond for the worms I catch to feed the fish), then he bounced off of a piece of slate, took a high flying leap, and landed with a loud splash in the pond.  The bigger frogs have more sense.

Tag, I’m it…now who can I tag?

 

Crone and Bear It  bagged, tagged, snagged, hammered, and nailed me.  I’m sure she’s sitting over on her blog giggling while I struggle with this.   This is what she found when she looked up the word awesome,  “I looked up awesome and it doesn’t necessarily mean “wonderful”; in fact it can also mean:  alarming, astonishing, awe-inspiring, beautiful, awful, breathtaking, dreadful, exalted, fearful, formidable, frightening, imposing, mind-blowing, overwhelming, shocking, striking, stunning, terrible, terrifying, or wondrous”

First, here are the rules:

1. Write a list of 7 things that make you awesome.

2. Pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you love.

3. Tag those bloggers to let them know that they have joined the Royal Queen’s land and link back to the Queen Bee who tagged you.

I think I’ll steal one from Cronie since I can beat her… 😉

1. I’m married to my High School sweetheart for what will be 36 years on July 21st and I wouldn’t trade one minute with anyone. 

2. I don’t take any crap from anyone, I speak my mind, damn the torpedoes and all that—see The Crone’s definition of awesome above.

3. I never make a promise I can’t keep.

4. I chose to follow my own path in life.

5. I rescued and placed a great number of Bull Terriers in good homes for over 20 years and only had one bounce back to me.

6. I’m writing three mysteries at one time.

7. I’ll give my loved ones and friends the shirt off my back and the shoes from my feet if they need them; I’ll bail them out, or be in the cell with them.

Here are the awesome people I’m tagging:

bringmesunshine.wordpress.com She always makes me smile…

nybullybrats.blogspot.com Has a good heart and rescues Bullies.

carolsartblog.wordpress.com My cousin–She’s an awesome artist

grannysramblings.wordpress.com I adore her.

groomerang.blogspot.com another great Bully person who has a good heart.

i-need-a-sugar-fix.blogspot.com A good person who took on the challenge of a deaf Bully–we need more people like her in this world

sunnymom.wordpress.com A single Mom who impresses me greatly

Yeah, I know I said I hated cell phones, but…

 

     When you’re driving three hundred and fifty miles alone, it makes sense to have a cell phone along with you.  I hate the damned things but I bought one.  Dear Hubby is pleased.  He was worried. 

     I bought a Go phone.  I’m not paying for fancy bells and whistles.  I walked into one of our local AT&T phone stores this afternoon.  Clayton asked me if I needed help. 

     “I need a Go phone.”

     He showed me several. 

     I looked at the prices and winced.  “What’s your cheapest phone?”

     He looked at me as if I’d sprouted a third eye and a set of antenna.  “Well, there’s is one.  It’s $29.99.  But it doesn’t do nearly as much as these others.”

     “Honey, I don’t need or want a lot of bells and whistles.”  I went on to explain how I hate the damned things and the idiots who drive while talking on them—all those close calls I’ve had with men and women alike who were so busy yakking they weren’t paying attention to the road.  

     “Then there are the rude people who yell on them while in stores or libraries.  I really do not want to listen to their private conversations.  I’m only buying one for my husband’s peace of mind because I’m going to be driving alone for three hundred and fifty miles.  I’m not a technophobe.  I hate being available 24/7.  I don’t need an umbilical cord to the world.  That’s why I have an answering machine.”

     Clayton got it.  He grinned.  “You’ll like this one.”  He held up a tiny phone.

     I groaned, “Another thing to get lost in my purse.”  I peered at the teensy number pad and screen.  “They sure don’t make these for half blind people like me, do they?”

     Clayton cracked up.

     I bought the damned phone.

It is a long trip but worth it!

 

     In seven days, I’ll be driving three hundred and fifty miles by myself.  I’m driving that far to attend my cousin’s wedding.  Gee, last year I did the trip twice (once by plane) to attend his brothers’ weddings.  I wouldn’t make a trip like this for just anyone but I do adore my cousins and can’t wait to get there.

     I was supposed to have a friend drive with me but she’s injured, and she can’t travel.  Dear Hubby can’t make the trip because he doesn’t dare leave his mother alone for four days in a row.  She’s not up to that yet.  He calls her every day and goes over to her house every other day now.  Therefore, once again I do the trip alone.

     I don’t mind.  It’s a lovely drive and I’ll get to see all my aunts and many of my cousins.  Since I’m a night owl I’ll be traveling at night and arrive there in the morning the day before the wedding.  My dear, sweet Auntie, the mother of the groom, promises she’ll have coffee ready for me when I get there.  I’ll need it and a nap.

You know the animals are spoiled when…

 

     The dogs bark at you when dinner isn’t in their dishes by five-thirty at the latest and you hurry up to give it to them. 

     The neighbor’s cat looks at you, at his treats, then at you again, and you give him some.

     The Koi beg for worms as soon as you walk near the pond so you go dig some out of the compost heap.

     The frog expects you to throw him some worms when you are feeding them to the Koi and you do it.

     The squirrels jump on the neighbor’s screen door when the corn cob she puts out for them is empty and she brings them a fresh cob.

     The poodle across the street expects you to have cookies in your pocket and you do.

     The basset hound whose owner walks him by on a regular basis wants to take a water break at your house on hot days and you have the dish filled and ready.

     The cat birds clean the blueberries off the bushes right under your nose, and you don’t chase them away.  Instead, you sigh, and think it’s a good thing you have bags of frozen blueberries in the freezer.

Goliath Frog and the remake of ‘The Birds’

 

     Late this afternoon I was settling in to do some writing.  I’d opened my book file, found where I’d left off, and began to work.  It’s been so lovely around here during the day we haven’t had to close up the house and turn the A/C on.  Therein lies the rub.

     With everything opened I can hear all that goes on outside.  I was quite enjoying the sounds of the birds.  That is until they began to screech, squawk, and scream bloody murder.  I went out the back door to see what the heck was causing of all this dismay among the birds.  I should’ve known.  I should’ve guessed. 

     One of our bullfrogs has decided that flies, bees, worms, and large moths aren’t enough.  He now has his eye on our feathered friends.  We call him Goliath Frog.  Goliath Frog mooches worms when I’m feeding them to the Koi.  Goliath Frog is fat he’s far from starving.  When I walked out into the yard, I saw a large flock of screaming starlings and grackles trying to aid a full grown starling who happened to have Goliath Frog attached to his tail feathers.  The bird was flapping about the pond making a gallant effort to lose the frog.

     Goliath Frog wasn’t ready to give up.  He had hold of his stomach’s desire.  The other birds were shrieking and flapping their wings, making dives at the determined amphibian.  Finally, the bird shook Goliath Frog loose and flew for the wires over the alley.  For a moment, I thought I was in a scene from Hitchcock’s The Birds.  There were starlings and grackles by the hundreds on the wires and in the trees.  They must have come from miles around in answer to the distress calls of the now almost tail featherless starling, AKA Goliath Frog’s intended supper.  It’s almost time for Goliath Frog to take a trip.  He can join our other bird eating bullfrogs, Frogadile and Frogzilla at the river.

Kiss my arse Martha Stewart!

 

     Dear Hubby is often frustrated that he can longer do the things he did years ago.  Sometimes I share that frustration when I need something done around here. 

     I’ve found that if I can’t find help, I have to adapt, improvise, and overcome.  Today I overcame the broken table out in the yard.

     Less than two summers ago, we bought a Martha Stewart table for the outdoors.  What a huge mistake!  Here we were thinking how great it was that we bought this lovely, large wood outdoor table on sale.  Well, kiss my arse Martha…it has fallen apart in less than two seasons.  (I’m so glad we bought it on sale for a super cheap price, it certainly wasn’t worth the regular price.)  Today, since I couldn’t find anyone to help, I took it apart.  It took me a bit of time, some struggle, the right tools, and brute strength, but I managed.  Then I had to carry the darned unwieldy thing out of the yard.  It is sitting against the side of the house with its removed legs and will go out for garbage tomorrow night.

     DH was very surprised and quite pleased to have the table gone because he can now run the riding mower over the spot where it stood.  I’m pleased to have it gone because I don’t have to run the weed eater underneath it any more.

Brains and fireworks? I don’t think so…

 

 

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     Gun powder smoke hangs heavy all over the city.  Which is strange because for a state where fireworks are illegal and the city even has ordinances against the use of sparklers we saw plenty of them going off tonight.

     I don’t mind the free shows, I rather enjoy them, but I do get angry when some people are dumb enough to set them off close to homes.  It seems to me that that these people don’t have the brains they were born with once they have fireworks in their hands.  All night we heard fire trucks going past—we live near two fire stations—you can bet that some idiots somewhere set a roof or two on fire.

    Give some people fireworks and their brains take a walk without them.  Many years ago, I saw an M80 with a short fuse peel the meat off three of my father in law’s fingers, his thumb, and half his hand, right to the bone, the damage to the nerves was severe and the resulting scars were a horror to behold.  The following year I was at a picnic where a fool tossed M80’s underneath people’s chairs and thought it was hysterical.  At least he did until he threw one under my MIL’s chair.  At which point I grabbed the culprit by the front of his shirt and threatened to set off a few in his pants.  The whole idea of roasting his chestnuts (and not by an open fire) put a damper on his high spirits.

     Unless you live way out in the country and you know what you are doing, leave the fireworks to the professionals, and don’t give them to children to play with.  Ask anyone who works the ER on the fourth; they see all the bad injuries.

I’m no sugar and spice girl.

 

     I’m not a girly girl.  I never have been, never will be.  Proof of that hit me yesterday when my neighbor’s son came to the gate and told me he’d found a bunch of worms for the Koi.  I let him in, we went over to the pond, and I asked him if he wanted to feed the fish.  Nope, he didn’t want to handle the worms.  He handed me the large plastic drink cup in which he had them contained.  I giggled.  I couldn’t help myself.  I was trying to figure out how he’d picked up the worms without handling them.

     I was always a tom boy.  I started fishing as soon as I was able to hold a fishing pole.  If we went fishing with Grandpa or my Father, we had to bait our own hooks.  Worms don’t bother me.  I remember chasing a cousin or two with a nice big night crawler. 

     I remember when the boys in school would try to scare me with a snake or a mouse and I didn’t scream and run.  Instead, I’d squeal, “Oh, how cute!  Can I hold it?”  Picture their disappointed little faces.

     When I came in from playing outside, much to my mother’s chagrin, I was as filthy as all the neighborhood boys were.  Dad thought it was a hoot.

Have a happy and safe 4th of July!

Skunky? Here are some odor removal formulas.

 

  Clipart - animal, skunk,  stink, stinky,  trade, cartoon.  fotosearch - search  clipart, illustration,  drawings and vector  eps graphics images

 

My friend in OK sent me her skunk out formula.  Her Husband is a cop and she’s mentioned in the past that this formula also gets rid of that decaying dead body odor…

1 lb box baking soda, 16 oz hydrogen peroxide, 3/4 cup gentle shampoo, 1/4 cup liquid dish soap like dawn or joy.  Mix and use immediately.  Something in it evaporates off so you can’t mix it and store it.

MJ sent me her formula which is white vinegar and peroxide for those who are sensitive to shampoos and/or Dawn dish soap.

Then there is a commercial product put out by the people who make Nature’s Miracle, Nature’s Miracle Skunk Odor remover and it’s available at most retail pet stores.

By the way, Nature’s Miracle is great for getting rid of blood stains, and pet odors and stains.