Maybe if I were younger. If I didn’t have my health problems. Maybe then I could do this.

I don’t have the strength to watch him leave piece by piece. So much of who he was is already gone.

I cry every night after he goes to bed. Body wracking, red-nosed, snot running, tear-stained face, ugly cries. I’ve cried for years. Hard to believe the tears still pummel me. I wonder when they will stop. Will they ever stop?

I miss this guy