I know it sounds horrible, but I do not go out to the hospital to sit with him every day. He doesn’t need me there to keep expressing my terror, anger, fear, and other inappropriate emotions in front of his doctors and nurses.

He said I embarrassed him at his pain management appointment for being short with a receptionist who kept us waiting for what seemed like forever while she fiddled around with her computer game rather than set up his next appointment in a timely fashion.

Therefore, I see no need for me to do any more embarrassing of him by my presence.

I’ll better spend the time getting the neglected (I can’t hear my TV when you vacuum!) housework done. (Can”t you dust some other time? You’re blocking the TV for a minute while you clean the screen and stand off.)

(Can’t you mop the floors when I am up for my nap? But don’t vacuum first or anything that’s too noisy.)

Yeah, going out in bad weather to a place I hate to sit for hours with The Curmudgeon to listen to him moan about his fall …not gonna happen.

I managed to get 5 loads of laundry done, strip my bed, remake it with the clean sheets and comforter, Start cleaning and dusting my bedroom…maybe I’ll get it clean enough in a few days to be able to actually sleep in my bed which I haven’t done for several years.

All the while with no TV on and music going–something I haven’t done since the last time he was in the hospital. You know, that time where I tore his room apart, cleaned the crap out of it, painted it, and put down carpet squares…

Now it’s a great time to clear more stuff out of here.

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