Brittle threads hold me together.

There is a certain desperation to run from here.

I am both terrified and intrigued about what will come.

Most days terror wins.

Lucy has become my therapy dog.

She knows when to stay close.

I feel emotionally crippled most days.

Outside I look like a normal person.

Inside I am hollow, filled with fear, alone and screaming in the dark.

Hell, I scream in the light too.

Everywhere I look…it hurts.

It hurts to the marrow.

Then there is that movie on constant replay…him falling down the stairs,

My desperate call to 911.

Knowing somewhere in the back of my mind after seeing the look on his face that this was it. This was the end. There was no coming back …his eyes showed me his leaving.

I must, in some manner, glue my broken bits together, Step through the looking glass and become a new me.

It is petrifying.  It goes way past daunting.