Category Archives: Holidays
What do you want for your holiday gift?
Posted by doggonedmysteries
What I want you can’t wrap in gift paper and put a ribbon on it.
I’d love to have my husband the strong and healthy man he once was.
I’d love to have more energy, time, and patience.
I’d like a clean house. Not to have to battle the fierce killer dust bunnies that crawl out from under the furniture from time to time. Not to find love notes written in the dust on the coffee table. I’d like the interior of the house painted, the fence damaged by some cruel hand fixed.
I’d enjoy easily cleaned floors that were not ancient cracked wood, vinyl tiles, and worn thin area rugs. Furniture that I didn’t have to cover with throws to make it presentable.
I want a muse to whack me over the head and keep me writing each day.
I’d like to have my car last for at least ten more years.
I’d like to be able to pay each bill as it comes in and not have to decide whom we pay this month and who has to wait.
I’d like to thank everyone who drops by to read my simple blog.
Happy Holidays!
What will you do on Black Friday?
Posted by doggonedmysteries
In a few days, it will be Thanksgiving and families will gather around tables groaning under the weight of enough food to feed a third world country. Some people won’t be thinking of how thankful they are that day. They will be mapping out strategies and war tactics for shopping on Black Friday.
Believe me. I know these people. I’ve listened to them describe their battle plans for weeks. Some folks will be outside certain store doors at two a.m. for the sale that begins at four. I don’t get it. I hate shopping. I hate crowds of people. To me shopping on Black Friday is akin to having four root canals at once.
According to all the weather forecasts, it’s going to be a very cold morning here. A motivated person could make a fortune outside the stores selling coffee and hot chocolate. Will I be out there? Heck no, there’s no way I’d be leaving my warm, cozy home to stand outside in the cold for an hour or more for a few dollars off on an item or to make a few bucks. I’d sooner burrow under the nearest blanket.
I worked retail and there was no day I dreaded more than Black Friday. Every year since I left that job, I spend the day as far from the stores as I can possibly get.
I think I’ll work on my books and relax this Friday. What will you do?
Posted in Holidays, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Fiction, Humor, Life, Love, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Toys to torment siblings and parents
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Toy commercials are rampant now that Christmas is fast approaching. I admit I do get a kick out of some of the toys they are advertising. There’s a dinosaur robot that cracks me up, and I keep telling Dear Hubby, “I want one.” Of course he tells me no. He knows me too well. I’d probably use it to torment him and the dogs.
Every year there are toys for the child who is into espionage but now they are almost as sophisticated as what the CIA has to use. Hey, kids how about using a toy to listen in on your parent’s private conversations? We’ve just the thing for you. There isn’t an older child around who wouldn’t appreciate having little brother or sister able to spy on them. Let the beatings commence.
Another brilliant gift idea, night vision goggles, exactly what every budding burglar needs to have.
Hey, I’m that evil person who gives children gifts of xylophones, drums, and things (like Leggos) that have many tiny pieces. I don’t have to live with the noisemakers or stepping on those little crippling pieces of plastic. Nor do I have to listen to the howls of the older child when they catch a younger one spying.
My kids have four legs and fur. They’re happy with tennis balls and dog cookies.
The mother-in-law gift
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Every year about this time, I begin to notice more gray hairs appearing at an astonishing rate. Why, you ask. It’s time to nail down Dear Hubby and actually go and buy a Christmas gift for his mother.
For the thirty-five years we’ve been married I’ve spent the months between one Christmas and the next on the hunt for the woman’s next gift. It never fails, I think I’ve found her the perfect gift but when I tell him about my discovery, he shoots it down like a twelve point buck in deer season.
Now it is again looming too close and I’ve resorted to torturing him nightly for ideas. Thank heavens for a mailbox full of catalogues.
“Honey, take a look at this lovely gift basket full of soaps, lotions, and creams. Do you think she’d like it?”
He peruses the page I point out, he scowls, and he answers, “She’d never use any of it.”
“Why not? I’d enjoy a gift like that.”
He grunts and says, “She only uses one brand of lotion and soap.”
I sigh and pick up another catalogue. “What about this great fruit basket?”
“Nope.”
“Oh, come on everyone LOVES fruit baskets.”
He removes the catalogue from my hands and tosses it aside. “She doesn’t.”
I sneak another catalogue out of the pile on the coffee table and flip though a few pages. “Here! She couldn’t possibly find fault in this. It has expensive chocolates, fancy cocoas, cookies, and dark chocolate covered nuts.”
“You forget. She can’t eat nuts.”
Bang.
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Fiction, gifts, Humor, Life, Love, Mother-in-law, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Diamonds are forever…
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Every commercial on TV is screaming, “Buy me! Buy me!” Half of these are the ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ commercials. Handsome men present necklaces that are dripping in glittering stones to attractive wives or girlfriends whose eyes light up with love. They flash these gorgeous nothing-less-than-a-carat diamond rings with breathtaking settings onto the TV screen and tell you, if you love her, you’ll buy her one.
A few years ago, my friend almost lost her diamond because the prongs holding it in the setting had worn down to nothing. Her diamond popped out and, lucky for her, it landed on her keyboard.
Which brings me to the conversation Dear Hubby and I got into about my engagement ring. After watching a trillion of those commercials, I’d taken my ring off to check the setting. We’d had the prongs checked right after my friend’s ring incident but I hadn’t really looked at them in while. The prongs were fine but wow the band sure is thinning. You see I’ve worn it for thirty-five years.
I said, “Hey Hon, look at this.” I showed him the ring.
He examined the ring and said, “Yes, you are wearing a bit thin after all these years.”
“You’d best smile when you say that, boy. I write murder mysteries.”
Lucky for him he was grinning.
Posted in Holidays, MS related, My blog, My books, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Fiction, Humor, Life, Love, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
10 1/2 lbs of candy and hordes of kids…
Posted by doggonedmysteries
I’d no sooner slipped into my costume and crammed the wig on my head when my neighbor called upstairs to me, “There are kids coming up the street.”
I applied my black lipstick and yelled back, “Holy cow, it’s not even six yet, be right there.”
Hurrying down the steps, I almost went ass over teacups when my witchy gown tried to gift-wrap my high heels. However, I grabbed my cauldron full of candy and made it outside without injury in time to hand out the first Halloween candy of the night.
What a night it was! For the next two hours, we never got a chance to catch our breath between large groups of kids of all ages. My Bone-ified dog in the crate prop was the hit of the night. Parents would grab their kids and drag them back to make sure they’d seen the dog. You couldn’t hear the dog talk over the loud music but he looked as though he was singing along with it.
Strobe lights, black lights, strings of tombstone, pumpkin, and gargoyle lights, Meat loaf and Queen blasting from the CD player, the fog machine running full tilt, and the pumpkins had kids and adults grinning. Dazzled by the display, we had to remind over half of the kids that we had candy to give them.
By eight o’clock, the ten and a half pounds of candy in my cauldron was gone, my neighbor’s basket had been empty for a half an hour, and my feet were killing me. (I don’t often wear high heels.) We were tired and pleased with the wonderful turn out we’d had. This year, every child, teen, and adult were polite, appreciative, and just plain fun.
We’re already looking forward to next year.
Short break for Halloween
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Tomorrow we begin preparations for Friday’s Trick or Treat night. My neighbor and I will carve only four pumpkins this year. Hate to admit it, but we are getting older and if we carve more than two pumpkins apiece, our hands are killing us for days. To top it off, my porch is so crowded with Halloween props that four pumpkins will be quite enough.
I won’t have a moment to spare for the blog during the next two days. Not only will we carve pumpkins on Thursday, but also we will begin cooking up a storm for our annual party that we have as soon as the kids are off the streets Trick or Treat night.
All day Friday, we’ll decorate the porch-we have to have everything in place, working, and be in costume by six o’clock. (Occasionally, we’ve had kids arrive as early as five o’clock.) We’ll put the final touches on the inside party food and when the clock hits six we’ll start the fog machine and crank up the music. When eight o’clock rolls around, the people we’ve invited to join us are already here or they begin to show up at the door and our party begins.
See you Saturday…
Now that’s a scary costume!
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Today my best friend cracked me up while talking about her five-year-old grandson. Last year he went Trick or Treating dressed as a ninja. He’ll wear the same costume this year, he’s happy with that. However, he’s already made his costume choice for next year. It won’t be a ninja.
My friend was cooking dinner for her hubby and their grandson who was spending the night with them. Grandpa and Grandson were sitting on the living room floor playing with a new set of Leggos they’d bought him that day. My friend was taking pleasure from listening to their conversation.
The conversation turned from what they were building with the Leggos to Trick or Treating. Grandpa asked the little one what he was going to wear to go Trick or Treating. Their grandson with no hesitation told him he was wearing last year’s costume again but he already knew what next year’s was going to be.
Grandpa asked, “What are you going to wear next year?”
The five year old paused a moment and then in a serious voice answered, “Well, Grandpa. Next year, I’m going to dress as a teenager.”
Grandpa replied, “Now that’s a scary costume.”
That’s when the severe case of the giggles in the kitchen began.
I love Halloween but….
Posted by doggonedmysteries
For thirty-five years, we’ve gone all out on Halloween. We even wear costumes to hand out candy. This year is no different.
On October first, I put black garland twined with orange lights along the edge of the porch roof and stapled glow in the dark plastic spider webs to the struts on the sides. The fancier lights and decorations don’t go outside until the day of our city’s designated Trick or Treat night. My best friend and I will spend the entire day of the ‘designated night’ decorating my front porch.
Trick or Treat night falls on Halloween for a change, and our city limits the hours to between 6 and 8 p.m. (No fair!) I want to stay out there later. I have too much fun playing with my fog machine and animated props. Sometimes on a rare, warm Trick or Treat night, we will pass out candy until 10.
We have hordes of Trick or Treaters arrive. Meatloaf, Queen, and the old Halloween stand bys blast from speakers. Wildly Witchy, I dip into my cauldron and pass out candy by the handful. It’s true, I enjoy thinking about sugar-hyper kids who bounce off the walls and drive their parents crazy all night. Why should I be the only person who has trouble sleeping?
I always love the comments the people make about our display. However, the last few years I’ve heard a few remarks a great deal scarier than the spookiest of costumes. These were from numerous parents who brought their kids to our house.
“I’ve always loved coming to your house on Halloween! I used to Trick or Treat here when I was a kid.” Those people had graying hair and were with children who weren’t toddlers.
EEEEEEKS!!!!!
You don’t pour the wine until after the pumpkins are carved?
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Every year, on the night before our town’s ‘designated’ Trick or Treat night, my best friend and I get together to carve pumpkins. We don’t do simple carvings nor do we do a mere one or two. We do elaborate detailed carvings on six to eight of them.
After twenty-five years, we’ve perfected our method. We do our most difficult carvings on the first ones. Hey, we’re feeling fresh so they go fast. With the first two finished, we take a break, open a bottle of wine, pour a glass, put candles in our finished pumpkins, light them, and turn out the kitchen lights so we can see what the pumpkins look like. We ooh and ah, blow the candles out, turn the lights back on, place the finished pumpkins on my back porch and sip our wine.
Our second two pumpkin patterns are not as difficult as the first ones, they are intermediate they aren’t that tough to do. Happy we finish them in a little more time than the first ones took to do. We sip our wine, candles, light them, lights off, ooh, ah, lights on, candles out, pumpkins on porch, we quaff our wine.
By the third one each, our hands are getting numb and sore. The patterns are easy ones and they take us longer to carve. We put in candles and light them, lights off, ooh, ah, lights on, candles out, pumpkins on porch, we swig our wine, and hope the cramps in our hands subside.
At this point, my friend asks, “Do we really need eight pumpkins this year? Whose idea was it to buy four pumpkins each?”
“You’re said to buy four each.”
“How numb are your hands?”
“Not nearly numb enough.”
“Remind me, why do we do this every year?”
“Because we love seeing the reactions. Because after 25 years of doing this, the kids and their parents expect them.”
We stare at the last two pumpkins. We chug our wine. We carve….
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, Disability, Doggoned, Dogs, Fiction, Humor, Life, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Writer, Writing
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