12/13/15 at 11:22 my blood pressure is 102/60.

Whenever The Curmudgeon began to drive me bonkers I picked up my adult coloring book and colored pencils and colored.

I did a lot of coloring.

He went out to get his cart from the shed–I had to drop everything and help him because he got stuck and couldn’t get the gate open. I had to carry the charger to the truck, put it in the engine compartment and hook it up because he couldn’t do it but insisted it be done, no matter that I had laundry to do that never got done…Then I had to help him back to the front door and into the house.

I did a lot of coloring.

A. Lot. Of. Coloring.

He only put me in one panic during the day, proof is my blood pressure on 12/12/15 at 9:13 p.m. is 111/64.

How did he manage to panic me you ask? I was trying to take a quick nap to make up for him and the dogs having me up very early, when I heard the front door slam.

Knowing no reason as to why I jumped to wide awake in that instant. I check outside to find him fiddling with his truck. It won’t start and he’s not happy about it.

If any of his friends would like to help him out with that, we have a charger, just need it hooked to the battery. Yeah, I thought not.

12/7/15 Blood pressure 111/65. Woke at 6 a.m. to take the dogs out because Gavin was fussing to go out.

Before bed I’d prepped carrots and had everything else ready for the crock pot. So I put everything into the crock pot and started it by 6:15. Pot roast for dinner.

Then I went back to the couch, snuggled down with Lucy behind my knees, and went back to sleep. The pups and The Curmudgeon let me sleep until almost ten.

Once I got up, things were a bit busy with all my orders arriving, one after another. I now have a nice C-table by the couch where I can set my coffee cup when I sit there. A mess of K-cups and 4 adult coloring books that are supposed to soothe and calm me. (We’ll see about that.)

I beez keeping da Momma’s spot warm for her.

So was my blood pressure. 12/6/15 8:11 p.m. and the blood pressure is 130/71.

We all know The Curmudgeon is going to be the death of me. My blood pressure is proof of that.

There is no escape for me short of a lottery win. Oh, lottery gods hear me now!

Gavin and Lucy were happy to see him. It was cute how they each  tried in their own way to let him know how much they missed him.

He did make it downstairs and moved around well all day. Here’s hoping for a repeat of that today.

I need a day where I don’t have a moment of panic or worry.

Blood pressure 9:47 p.m. 12/4/2015 is 126/74. Am I surprised?

Nope. He will be the death of me.

He does his damnedest to push all my buttons.

I love him but I found that while he was in the hospital I actually got some rest, felt no pressure, and didn’t have to resort to the word “fuck” even once. In one day (yesterday) I lost count of how many times I used it.

I love him but I have come to realize that may not be enough. He puts me in a pressure cooker sending my nerves into overdrive.

A lottery win might be all that stands between me and an early grave.

Deep breaths.

Spending the last few days catching my breath in preparation for The Curmudgeon’s return home. I know that once he’s home again I’ll not get a moment of rest.

I doubt he knows how demanding he is or that he is the reason for my high blood pressure.

We can play the blood pressure game, starting yesterday to one week from yesterday.

My blood pressure 10:30 p.m. 12/1/15 was 124/66.

Not bad after running out to Good Shepherd and having two close calls driving in the rain. Both close calls caused by idiots talking on their phones while driving. Cell phones are hazards! Put the phones away, so what if you might miss a call or two, it is not worth risking your life and the lives of others.

The pups and I had a quiet Sunday. As they slept all day, I washed all their bedding, vacuumed the downstairs, and caught up on a few other chores.

The house is still not clean. I doubt it will ever be clean. I have two dogs, a husband who is a slob when he’s home, and an old house that seems to generate dirt from nowhere.

The pups had me up early so I called G and asked her if she wanted to join me on farmers market foray. (I was jonesing for a bear claw.) She hot-footed it over and off we went.

After a quick trip to the farmers market, I spent the rest of the day trying to catch up on my sleep. I still feel exhausted, but it could be whatever I am coming down with is making itself known.

The Curmudgeon called late afternoon and sounded pretty good. He’d had a busy day of therapy and was heading to a shower.

I wore this today.

Actually day three, but we aren’t counting the late arrival on the first day as a real day there.

I woke to the phone ringing, feeling lousy, coming down with something. Not my idea of fun going out to the rehab, in the rain, when I feel like crap but he called with a list of stuff he wanted.

Ran out to take The Curmudgeon some clothes and other things.

Waited in his room for about half an hour and then went hunting for him. Found him in the occupational therapy room.

Yes, I was a bit cranky but I felt like crap. His room was like a sauna making me feel worse. I needed to get out of there so I could cool off.

Today I have the ringer on the phone turned off and I plan to get as much rest as I can.

Huwwy up Mumma, It beez time to snugglez.

It sounds like they worked his buns off all morning.

When G and I arrived, he was in the cafeteria having his lunch.

He looked tired already and had to work with a speech therapist later. The speech therapists are working on helping him with his swallowing problem which is why he got pneumonia before this last incident.

He’s lost too much weight and is nothing but skin and bones.

He’s determined to do everything they tell him to do so he can come home soonest. Wish him luck.

Someone is missing her daddy