Category Archives: My blog

Do I ever schedule anything? You have to be kidding.

     Dear Hubby has secondary progressive MS so we have regularly scheduled appointments with his neurologist, pain management, physical therapy, and our family doctor.  Then we have his elderly mother’s many appointments we have to schedule around his.  This coming week we have three appointments. 

      His mother has one on Thursday because her doctor changed it.  We normally have a rule about appointments; they are never scheduled on a Thursday if we can help it.  Thursdays are when I have my twice a month critiquing group meeting.  On the alternate Thursdays, I go grocery shopping and to the farmer’s market.  Other times I shop at the pet store for the dogs and Koi, and I drop in to visit a few friends if I have time.  In other words, it’s my day.

      I didn’t go to my critiquing group this week even though it was scheduled.  I didn’t mind not going I had a good reason to stay home.  DH took a nasty tumble into the arm of the couch a few days before and managed to break a rib.  (His MS causes him to fall a lot since he has very little feeling in his feet and a lack of muscle memory.  Usually he manages to fall without even a little bruise because he’s learned to fall.)  He was not thrilled to have me stay home and hover, he wants me to have some ‘me’ time.  He knows I need it, but I know that there are periods where he needs me more. 

      Until early this summer, we hadn’t realized how much he depends on me.  Then I fell and sprained, not one ankle, but both of them.  Yes, BOTH of them and our two Bull Terriers were not involved in the incident.  (Anyone who owns Bull Terriers would think they were but that’s another post.)  The dogs are innocent of this mishap.  However, I do think I need to speak to a contractor about fixing the uneven sidewalk in the back yard.

      I was supposed to stay off my feet, oh yeah that works.  Crutches are fine if you have only one ankle sprained, they don’t work for two ankles.  You have to come down on one or both feet with each swing.  Hobbling around with a cane worked best for me and gave DH many a laugh.

      DH is a jewel among men.  He did his best but he hasn’t the strength or energy to take care of the dogs, the gardens, the pond, or cook meals.  We ate a lot of take-out/delivered food for a few weeks.  If I ever see another bucket O’ chicken, I may sprout wings and cluck, and it was a few months until I wanted pizza or Chinese food again.  The dogs took advantage because they knew I couldn’t chase them down.  The weeds got ahead of me and the pond filters needed a cleaning, but I didn’t care because he tried his best and that’s all anyone could ask of the love of their life.

What do you mean the power is out? I haven’t had my coffee yet.

     I hate it when coffee sits on a warmer all day.  It tastes burned after the first fifteen minutes.  I have my coffee maker set to turn off immediately after the pot fills.  I heat each cup in the microwave and I never get that all-day-on-the-burner flavor.  They do have coffee pots that have thermal carafes, but then the coffee tastes like eau de old thermos coffee after the first hour.  Yes, I’m prickly about my coffee. 

     I don’t spend a fortune going to places like Starbucks ordering lattes or cappuccinos.  When I ask for coffee, I want coffee.  No, I don’t want raspberry, caramel, macadamia nut, chocolate flavored syrup in it.  Can you say coffee?  I don’t mean that brown dishwater that some people try to pass off as coffee.  I mean a rich, full bodied, robust cup of coffee.  A one swallow and your eyes pop open coffee.  I want heart pounding, pulse racing, and brain stirring hot coffee. 

     In view of that, a few days ago, when I awoke and found our power was out my first thought was of coffee.  Oh, my God!  Did I make a pot before bed?  Hell, I’ll drink it cold or go heat it on the grill if there is coffee.  Oh, please let there be coffee I can’t wait for a pot to brew on the gas grill.  I need it now. 

     I trudged downstairs dreading a lack of coffee and a day of crankiness on my part.  Entering the kitchen and spotting a full pot of coffee brought a grin, touching the pot and finding it cold lost the grin.  My first defensive line during a power outage in our neighborhood is to go to my best friend’s house she lives a half a block away and she’s on a different power line. 

     I filled my cup and DH never uttered a word as I walked out the front door, he knew where I was heading.  I figured if she had power I’d have a quick heat up on my cup, if she didn’t, then I’d go back home and light up the grill. 

     I knocked on her door, noticed her TV was working, and when I saw her through the screen I held up my cup, gave her my most pitiful look and said, “Must-have-coffee-heated….”  Joy of joys, she snatched my cup from hands and popped it into her microwave.  One minute later, I had my hot coffee and everyone around me could breathe again.

Malcolm’s Mayhem 2

Visit our home and you’ll see numerous beware of dog signs about.  They are surplus from when we owned a German shepherd, though I feel that they still apply in Malcolm’s case.  He’s not the type of dog to be aggressive with people.  That is, not to those that we welcome and who enter by the front door.  They are the ones he’d probably lick to death or lead to the icebox.

However, in the last few months we’ve noticed that he has become a hazard for anyone who drops in on us.  The dog has developed a fascination for shoelaces.

After our guest or guests enter our home and sit down, Malcolm crouches at his chosen victim’s feet.  When he figures that no one is paying attention, he noses over closer.  Then, ever so proficiently, he takes a hold of his target’s shoelace, and little by little, tugs until it is untied.  They never feel it unless he wants them to.  Once he’s untied the shoelaces on both shoes, he waits (rather pleased with himself) for them to notice his scheme.  I’m waiting for the day that he learns to tie them together and really trips someone up.  Believe me; I think if he had thumbs, he would’ve succeeded at that endeavor a long time ago.

If a dog could laugh, Malcolm does.  He has a weird sense of humor.  Most of his jokes are on me.  There’s a certain sense of relief to see that he’s found another outlet for his wit.  And, a lack of sympathy for the new targets of his hilarity.

For my safety, I’ve taken to wearing sneakers that close with Velcro.  Unfortunately, he’s discovering how much fun Velcro is, and what a neat sound it makes when you tug on it.  But, at least, unlike shoelaces that dangle and delight his hilarity, Velcro isn’t something he can open without you knowing it.

You thought all my posts would be dog related didn’t you?

I’d rather leave my technology at home. 

     We used to know who the crazy people were.  They were the bizarre people who flapped their arms wildly, talked to themselves at top volume, and often wore tin foil on their heads. 

     Today when someone is walking down the street speaking at top volume and flapping their arms wildly, they are usually speaking to someone on their cell phone.  With many of the new phones, you can’t tell a screwball from someone on a phone without looking closely.  Another clue on how to know would be, is said person wearing a tin foil hat?  Even that isn’t foolproof. 

     Do we NEED to be connected 24/7?  I don’t.  The fact is, after doing years of office work, I don’t like answering the phone.  That’s why I have an answering machine and a husband.  I enjoy being out of reach most of the time.  When I do carry a cell phone with me, it’s off unless I need to call the auto club because my car broke down. 

     I don’t want a phone with all the extras either.  I’m half-blind, I wear bifocals, and I can’t read that teensy screen.  I didn’t buy a cell phone so I could play games on it-I have a computer at home for that.  Text messaging on my phone?  That means reading that tiny print again.  Geez, just call me on my home phone (see above paragraph) and if I answer or can be found, we can have a lovely conversation.  For heaven’s sakes people, learn to talk to each other.  Verbal communication has become a lost art.  Get off your butts, get out of the house, car, away from the computer and meet people face to face.  Too many people will automatically take offense from meanings they read into text messages (or E-mails) that were not there, nor were they (the meanings) intended.  A conversation contains facial expressions, tone of voice, and all those things that are true interaction. 

     Call me old fashioned if you want, but I call myself liberated, stress free, and happy.

Just a spoonful of sugar?

 

     Mary Poppins’ “spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down” philosophy doesn’t work on our dogs. 

 

     Our vet can’t get Gavin’s mouth opened.  He tries every year when we take Gavin in for his exam.  Every year Gavin clamps his jaws shut and if our vet tried to use a crow bar, I doubt he’d get in there.

 

     Therefore, when he prescribed medication for an allergy in pill form for Gavin, I laughed.  Pill this dog?  C’mon Doc you have to be joking.  Actually, our vet knows I can pill Gavin but we do like to joke about it.

 

 

     Our female, Patty can spit a pill across a room and into a water dish with the accuracy of William Tell’s apple shot.  Have you ever tried to fish a sopping wet gelatin capsule out of a full water dish?

 

     I have my own Mary Poppins method, What is my method?  A spoonful of peanut butter makes the pills disappear.

Bribery will get him anywhere.

 

     Our Bull Terrier, Gavin has the weirdest nails.  They are white and look as if they’d be easy to trim, but they grow too thick to snip with clippers and he went crazy if we tried to use the Dremel tool on them to grind them down as we had successfully done with our previous Bull Terriers.

 

     Dear Hubby decided to buy the Peticure© he’d seen on TV.  Well, when it arrived it was almost identical to our cordless Dremel tool including the same noise and vibrations.  The only difference was the Peticure had a plastic safety cover over the sanding disk.  Gavin was not amused. 

 

     However, DH was determined and after many doggie treats with no grinding and just the noise and vibration of the tool, he made his first attempt to grind away.  I walked across the room to retrieve the Peticure while he coaxed Gavin back onto his lap.  

 

     A dozen treats and several more tool and dog retrievals later, DH successfully completed trimming one nail.  It’s been a long road the last two months but now Gavin has short nails.

 

     Today Gavin will allow DH to trim his nails whenever he wants to…if DH has a pocket full of treats.

How to paint the interior of a house by yourself while two dogs run amok

 

     The first thing you do is load your husband’s pockets up with dog treats so he can keep the lovable A.D.D. beasts busy while you work.  The second thing is you cover everything but the TV and the husband’s chair with drop cloths. 

 

     You then decide what section of wall you wish to start working on, and you don’t do any painting at dog level until they are safely in bed for the night.  Of course, this means that all the work you are doing while they are awake is done on a ladder—not exactly the smartest place to be. 

 

      All paint should be kept above dog level so that when it is spilled it can splash more, go higher, and spatter you, the dogs, and the husband, not to mention leaving all sorts of pretty patterns on the two pieces of furniture you didn’t cover with drop cloths. 

 

     In case you think that I have a brute of a husband, or a lazy one, let me explain—he is disabled, and can’t help do the work.  Therefore, the job of dog sitter keeps both him and the dogs busy.  Well, that is until the treats run out and they decide to check out what I’m doing on a ladder—see above.

Welcome to my blog and sneak peek pages!

Penny and Winifred 

If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Wanna go out and play?

 

        I’m a mystery writer–read my ‘about me’ page to find out more.   Feel free to check out the excerpts from my Doggoned Mystery series and take a look at my favorite pictures of our garden and what was once our pond.  The Bull Pen page has pictures of our bullies past and present and friends.