Category Archives: Writing
How to bathe the dog
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Gorgeous weather today made the pups miserable. Actually it wasn’t the day itself it was what I did to them. Smelly Gavin and stinky Patty got baths. I am on their LIST. After they had their baths and were dry, their majesties did their utmost best to let me know that I’d gone to the top of their LIST. I rose higher on the LIST than squirrels, annoying kids, strange dogs who pee on their fence, and a late dinner.
I did not apologize to them. They reeked and were in dire need of baths. You’d think they’d want to be nice and clean sweet-smelling dogs. Nope, they’d rather smell horrible. It’s a dog thing.
How to bathe Patty: A) Keep her from hiding in either crate by closing the doors. B) Drag her upstairs to the bathroom. C) Lift her 65 lb limp, dead weight into the tub. D) Begin the torture of bathing. E) Spread a towel on the floor, drop a cookie, and back up. F) Dry her. G) Release her from the bathroom to have her karoom down the steps and around the downstairs. H) Crate her with a cookie reward until she’s dry.
How to bathe Gavin: A) Show him a cookie. B) Tell him “Let’s go bed bouncing.” C) Follow him upstairs. D) Throw the cookie into the tub and watch him hop into it. E) Close shower doors so he doesn’t jump back out. F) Begin his torture—you mean get me wet all over? G) Hose him down, get soaked when he shakes. H) Soap him, get soaked when shakes. I) Rinse him, get soaked when he shakes. J) Step back, get soaked when he shakes. K) Dry him, get soaked when shakes. L) Release him from the bathroom. M) Crate him with a cookie. N) Go dry all the walls and the floor of the bathroom. O) Change into dry clothes.
Posted in Dog related, My blog, Weather related, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
MIL is home again
Posted by doggonedmysteries
DH reported that he left a very happy mother in her home today. Her dog went berserk when he saw her come in the door. Happy, happy, joy, joy! Little old Lance was about doing doggie cartwheels he was so ecstatic that his Mom was home. MIL was thrilled to have her digs back.
I sent over some homemade frozen meals for her. All she needs to do is pop them in the microwave. Her freezer is loaded, and her fridge is resupplied with all fresh stuff. Her prescriptions are filled. She’s set for a while.
Now we hope we can get back into a normal routine again. She will have a visiting nurse come in occasionally and someone from some agency is stopping in tomorrow to see how she’s settling at home. DH will go over in the mornings and evenings to check on her.
Posted in Misc, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Home, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Writer, Writing
You will lose pounds and inches in just…
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Yeah, yeah we’ve all watched those advertisements. If I bought every miracle weight reducing, body trimming, tummy-tightening machine that came down the pike my house would explode. Then there are all those miracle weight loss pills, yeah I’d rather toss my money down the toilet it’s just as effective.
What works is less food and more movement. I can tell, now that I’m outside more and working in the garden again, my jeans are starting to fall down. Where did I put that belt? Sweat equity melts off the winter weight.
G and I are starting to do our twice-weekly mile long walks. The pups love that I’m taking them for an evening walk weather permitting. I walk them separately so that means I go twice as far as they do.
Warm weather meals are lighter and contain more fresh veggies and fruit than my winter meals. The last two days I had the grill up and running again so that means less fat too.
DH, otherwise known as Mr. Fluffy since I had to pick him up from the floor last week, will drop a few pounds too.
Posted in Misc, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, diet and exercise, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, not fat fluffy, Novel writing, Writer, Writing
Not duck as in dodge. I said Ducks.
Posted by doggonedmysteries
One must seek refuge in simple pleasures when the insanity gets too much. I did that today. I needed a stress reliever. Those who know me know I went out into the gardens and worked. There’s something soothing about digging in the soil and planting things.
I spent several hours weeding and planting. I took a break to feed the dogs and cook dinner for DH and me. Then I went back outside.
Speedy, one of our Koi had made a few spectacular jumps today celebrating the warmth. Therefore, at first, I didn’t think much when I heard a loud splash behind me. I turned to see if she’d jump again. It wasn’t Speedy this time.
My pair of mallards had returned. The female set right to the business of munching algae. The male played look out for her. I went inside to tell DH and grab a slice of bread for them. They looked lovely swimming around in the pond seizing pieces of bread that the Koi didn’t beat them to as it hit the water.
They stayed two hours. Then with a slight flapping of wings, they took off over the fence and were soon out of sight. I hope they come back tomorrow.
Posted in my garden, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Gardening, Gardens, Home, Koi, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pond, Ponds, Writer, Writing
Homeward bound with a slight hitch
Posted by doggonedmysteries
DH claims he’s sane and has the paperwork to prove it. I think that paperwork might need redoing. The hospital is driving him crazy. He’s trying to get his mother released before her benefits run out. They want to add another elderly person to their profit margin.
It is my belief that no hospital, rehab facility, or nursing home should be run for profit. When it comes down to a company’s profit margin, which is what always comes first. Not the patient, not the patient’s family, to heck with the Hippocratic Oath, do no harm, they want money.
The psychiatrist who ‘talked’ to my mother in law today pushed her panic button. He mentioned selling her house.
This poor woman has a not very nice neighbor who has been trying to get her to sell him her house for the last five years. His methods have been heavy handed and, for her, scary. He’s backed off since DH, his best friend, and I had a few conversations with him. We used the words attorney, police, and terroristic threats during our conversations with him. I was not nearly as nice as the men were when I spoke to him. I’ve dealt with too many bullies over the years.
So naturally, when this doctor mentioned selling, her first thought was that the doctor now wanted her house. This put her in panic mode. Do you blame her? It took DH several conversations with the ‘powers that be’ to explain her reaction.
So far, she’s still going home on Saturday.
Posted in Misc, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Bones, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Elder Care, Family, Fiction, Healthcare, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Writer, Writing
Ark too Brutus?
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Gavin and Patty requested the use of a raft to go out today. It might have worked except they have no thumbs and can’t hold paddles. We’ve had so much rain that I heard the stock prices on gopher wood jumped through the roof. I’ve seen pairs of animals strolling past all day. Ba dum dum.
The neighbor’s bulldogs Diamond and Brutus ordered snorkel gear although Brutus really wanted a boat. Cleo, the standard poodle across the street, rented herself out as a squirrel canoe. The two toy dogs next door stepped off their porch and almost drowned so Gavin lent them the raft.
The Koi are touring the neighborhood and the bullfrogs are using in the magnolia tree as a diving board. The daffodils want water wings. Did I mention that we’ve had a lot of rain?
Posted in Dog related, Misc, my garden, Weather related, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Fish, Gardening, Gardens, Home, Humor, Koi, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pond, Ponds, Writer, Writing
Two dogs on a rainy day
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Gavin rings the sleigh bells on the back porch door. “Wanna go out, NOW.”
“Hold on let me get a jacket.” I snag one off the hooks by the door. The bells are still ringing. “I’m right here. Stop with the bells already.”
We get outside and it’s raining.
Gavin runs for the door. “Wanna go in, NOW.”
We go in. Gavin doesn’t tell Patty it is raining. Patty wants out. I take her.
A raindrop hits her on the head she tucks her tail and reverses gears. “In. I wanna go in. Oh, please let’s go in.”
We go in.
Both dogs dance around in front of the cupboard. “Cookies! Don’t forget the cookies!” Gavin yells.
Patty sits and throws her front paws high in the air. “Stick ‘em up, I’m doing stick ‘em up! Give me a cookie.”
I give them their cookies, settle down in front of the computer and begin writing.
Five minutes later Gavin is ringing the bells to go out. “I’m bored. Wanna go out, NOW.”
Patty runs to join him. “If he’s going, I am too.”
“It’s still raining.” I tell them as I grab my jacket. Reread.
Posted in Dog related, My blog, Weather related, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Unpredictable March nights
Posted by doggonedmysteries
My poor magnolia tree had some frost damage to its almost open buds. I think some over the pond got hit the worst. We might have some bloomage but nothing near what it would’ve been had the temperature stayed above freezing. The last two years the tree escaped the frost so I guess it was about due to happen again.
DH was surprised that it was cold enough to need a jacket when he went over to the hospital to see his mother in the morning. I told him to be ready for a repeat of it today since as I write this at 2 a.m. the temperature has already dropped to 33 degrees.
However, by Thursday it is supposed to be in the seventies again. I’m glad because I do have some new flowers that need planting. I also need to bring my black elephant ears up from the basement to get them acclimated and ready to plant too. They will stay on the back porch until mid April.
I just took the pups for their last out of the night and it is chilly. I needed my jacket.
Posted in Misc, My blog, my garden, Weather related, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Gardening, Gardens, Home, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Writer, Writing
When a chapter doesn’t work
Posted by doggonedmysteries
I’ve been writing the same chapter for a couple of weeks now. It is not working. The scene sucks big time. The dialogue is mediocre, and the tension is flat. So now what do I do? First, I won’t completely scrap the darned thing because there might be something useful there. (I seriously doubt it but you never know.) I’ll cut it from the manuscript and paste it into a snippet file. Then I’ll start over.
Why do I have to begin again? Because, in what I wrote there’s nothing that I find acceptable. Yes, I hold myself to high standards. I refuse to send it off in such poor condition. Is there a doctor in the house? Chapter twelve is an ugly tumor that needs swift, skillful, surgical removal.
This is not a case of my little editor telling me to fix it. No, my little editor read it and puked. My muse even told me it was total crap and I know they are right…this time.
I have no excuse. I wrote the crap and now I am getting out the pooper scooper and clearing it off the pages.
Posted in My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Home, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Writer, Writing
Are they there yet?
Posted by doggonedmysteries
I’d give my eye teeth for a week without the construction going on across the street. Seriously, this has gone on for a year now, and I am truly suffering from sleepus interruptus. Going to bed around 5 or 6 a.m. and having the noise start at 7 has worn thin. I might’ve become used to the construction noise had it not been accompanied by one of the workers with a desire to be a singer. The man has a tin ear and a voice that could grate coconut.
I like to sleep with my window opened, but it’s been a year since I could do that. Each day I hope that they’re finished. Each day I am disappointed. I feel like the kid in the car, ‘are we there yet?’
The contractor never seems to finish one project before he starts another. The problem with that is he has had to rip up work he’s already done on many occasions. I have a feeling he’s a relative of the home owner.
He does lovely work. However, I would’ve fired him by now. A couple of days ago I got my hopes up because the front porch looked finished only to have them dashed this morning when I saw they were doing yet another project.
“Oh, to sleep, perchance to dream…”
Posted in Misc, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Writer, Writing
The vacuum from hell
Posted by doggonedmysteries
I seldom vacuum my house. My reason is simple. My vacuum has the decibel level of a jack hammer. The dogs hide in their crates when I start it. I’ve taken to wearing ear protection when running it. Yes, I vacuum the house with my gun range head set on. Have you ever answered a door while wearing those things? I have. It is somewhat disconcerting to people.
Yesterday I ordered a new vacuum. I want a clean house without having to go deaf in the process. I didn’t want another bag less vacuum. I’m tired of choking on dust, dog hair, and dander when I empty it. It also takes filters that cost an arm and a leg if you can find them. I don’t think I can spare the body parts. My vacuum is heavy and awkward. It’s like wrestling with an elephant on wheels with flat tires.
Another thing, it takes forever to suck up dirt and it never gets it all. A work out on wheels that sucks, or rather, doesn’t suck enough isn’t my idea of fun.
The vacuum I ordered is lightweight. I hope it’s quieter than my old one although that should be easy since a 747 landing in my yard would be quieter than the old vacuum.
Posted in Misc, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, it doesn't suck, it sucks, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, the vacuum from hell, Writer, Writing
Grab a bucket
Posted by doggonedmysteries
I could tell we had rain before I looked out a window, water was drip, drip, dripping in the upstairs hall. I strategically placed a bucket under the leak and dried the floor. I hate this house. We’ve had a constant parade of roofers up on that flat roof during the thirty seven years we’ve owned this house. I couldn’t believe it when we actually had two years without the leak after the last roofer was up there. I guess we’ll call him again.
One of these days, we might even get the leak in the basement to go away. We’re close, it only leaks a little now when we have a considerable amount of rain, like today.
There’s another reason why I hate this house. We bought the house from DH’s parents. No matter how much I change it, it will always be his parent’s house. (Not to mention the leaky roof and basement.)
Never buy a house from an in law or an out law for that matter. The first week after we moved in, we found we had a major termite infestation that WE had to take care of because they wouldn’t. That winter the furnace went out in a blaze of glory and smoked the basement on the coldest day of the year and it was a Sunday. I dare you to try to get that fixed quickly. Then the water heater died. No one mentioned the leaks before we bought the place. Did I mention that I hate this house?
Posted in Misc, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Writer, Writing
Doggonedmysteries 