Gorgeous weather today made the pups miserable.  Actually it wasn’t the day itself it was what I did to them.  Smelly Gavin and stinky Patty got baths.  I am on their LIST.  After they had their baths and were dry, their majesties did their utmost best to let me know that I’d gone to the top of their LIST.  I rose higher on the LIST than squirrels, annoying kids, strange dogs who pee on their fence, and a late dinner.

     I did not apologize to them.  They reeked and were in dire need of baths.  You’d think they’d want to be nice and clean sweet-smelling dogs.  Nope, they’d rather smell horrible.  It’s a dog thing.

     How to bathe Patty:  A) Keep her from hiding in either crate by closing the doors.  B) Drag her upstairs to the bathroom.  C) Lift her 65 lb limp, dead weight into the tub.  D) Begin the torture of bathing.  E) Spread a towel on the floor, drop a cookie, and back up.  F) Dry her.  G) Release her from the bathroom to have her karoom down the steps and around the downstairs.  H) Crate her with a cookie reward until she’s dry.

     How to bathe Gavin:  A) Show him a cookie.  B) Tell him “Let’s go bed bouncing.”  C) Follow him upstairs.  D) Throw the cookie into the tub and watch him hop into it.  E) Close shower doors so he doesn’t jump back out.  F) Begin his torture—you mean get me wet all over?  G) Hose him down, get soaked when he shakes.  H) Soap him, get soaked when shakes.  I) Rinse him, get soaked when he shakes.  J) Step back, get soaked when he shakes.  K) Dry him, get soaked when shakes.  L)  Release him from the bathroom.  M) Crate him with a cookie.  N) Go dry all the walls and the floor of the bathroom.  O) Change into dry clothes.

     Gavin rings the sleigh bells on the back porch door.  “Wanna go out, NOW.”

     “Hold on let me get a jacket.”  I snag one off the hooks by the door.  The bells are still ringing.  “I’m right here.  Stop with the bells already.”

     We get outside and it’s raining. 

     Gavin runs for the door.  “Wanna go in, NOW.”

     We go in.  Gavin doesn’t tell Patty it is raining.  Patty wants out.  I take her.

     A raindrop hits her on the head she tucks her tail and reverses gears.  “In.  I wanna go in.  Oh, please let’s go in.”

     We go in.

     Both dogs dance around in front of the cupboard.  “Cookies!  Don’t forget the cookies!”  Gavin yells.

     Patty sits and throws her front paws high in the air.  “Stick ‘em up, I’m doing stick ‘em up!  Give me a cookie.”

     I give them their cookies, settle down in front of the computer and begin writing. 

     Five minutes later Gavin is ringing the bells to go out.  “I’m bored.  Wanna go out, NOW.”

     Patty runs to join him.  “If he’s going, I am too.”

     “It’s still raining.”  I tell them as I grab my jacket.  Reread.