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For sale…oh yeah, I still have them.

     I know what I’ll be doing some days this Spring or Summer.  I’ll be hunting down antique shops and flea markets where I might find someone interested in these dishes and several other items I still have here taking up valuable space.  The Curmudgeon and I have no use for them, we’d rather have more room.

     I have a small house and very little storage space.  I am tired of tripping over these things or having to move them around all the time.

     If you are interested, please leave your contact information in the comments.

     You all have a good one.

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Tax season joke…because we all need to laugh.

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.

I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’

I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says

Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’

Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’

The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor’s jaw drops.

Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.’

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.

‘Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and you’d be happy about it.’

     You all have a good one!

Return of the Fairy Tale

     “My Lady, if you can give me the means to kill him, I will help you.  You have my word.”

     Mavelle opened her pack and pulled out a bundle.  She opened the bundle with great care.  Lifting the crystal knife from its wrappings, she showed it to Cragger.  Its surface glowed, a perfect reflection of the fire that kept them warm.  “I hate to admit that I almost lost this when the troll attacked my sister and her party.  After that, I felt it best put away safely until I could find someone to wield it for me.  I knew I hadn’t the strength to do it myself.”  She handed it to Cragger.

     Cragger turned the blade over in his hand.  “The Griffon’s blade!  I thought it was a myth.  This was lost to History a millennium ago.”

     “That explains why I never heard of it.”

     “My Lady, This blade has struck down Gods and Giants.  It will do against the troll.”  He held the blade in both hands, raised them as in the Goddess blessing, and bowed his head.  “I am honored.”

     “Now sir, you may rest your head in the shelter with me and my companion.  Since he shows me that I am safe with you.”  Mavelle pointed to McDougal who stretched out on his side snored loud enough to rival the thunder overhead.

Ch ch ch changes….

     Today’s sunny weather had me craving Spring something fierce.  I can’t wait to go work in the garden and get walking again.

     I have hopes of making some rather large changes to the yard and garden this year.  The pond is going to have to go, I can’t do the upkeep alone, there were some things The Curmudgeon could do easier than I can and he can do them no longer.  Know anyone in PA who wants some lovely, large Koi?  Have them contact me.

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     I’m hoping to install new stronger, dog-proof fencing between the yards, across the front, and down the alley side.  I want my poor dogs  able to run and play in their yard without me having to hold them on a leash every time they go out. 

     So far here’s what my Spring looks like:

  • Re-home Koi and fill in pond
  •  Find a fencing company
  • Build raised planting beds and patio with pergola

     Looks like I’ll be keeping a certain landscaping company in the money and working my buns off to boot.

     You all have a good one!

EEG is over now we wait…and wait…and wait

     I always wish test results were instant.  I hate waiting for them.  We probably won’t know anything for at least a week. 

     The Curmudgeon could not get home fast enough after they removed all the wires and glue-like crap.  He’d not showered for three days–this is a man who showers at least once a day.  It took three scrubbings for him to get most of the stuff out of his hair.

    He has three patches on his face where the ‘glue’ took off skin.  He’s not thrilled.  I’m disappointed that he wouldn’t let me get a picture of him in his scarf and fancy gauze covered wire braid.  He has no sense of humor sometimes.

     You all have a good one.

You don’z hab a scarf on, we knowz you now!

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Update on what’s going on with The Curmudgeon this week.

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     The Curmudgeon is having an ambulatory EEG done.  This will take three days.  Yesterday began in the very early morning with them attaching wires to his head that run down a sleeve into a machine strapped on his waist.  A microphone is hooked to his shirt.

     He must wear the microphone all the time and use it for a long list of events, such as eating, brushing his teeth, going to sleep, waking up, taking meds, etc. 

He has a list of do and do not things too.  Day one is over, he’s gone to bed, and can’t wait for day three to be here and gone.  He is not a happy camper.  He’s complained about the wires, the kerchief on his head, and everything having to do with this.

    You all have a good one.

Touching?

 

 

It looks as though they are snuggled together….

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Are they?  

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This is close as they ever get….

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More of the Fairy Tale

     His eyes glowed with tears unshed.  “The Dwarf Council arranged to have a car loaded with explosives blown up at the entrance to the tunnel.  They had warning signs posted so dwarves would never dig there again.  Now centuries later, it must be that man has found the tunnel and released the creature once again.  My people have burdened me with the task of destroying it before he takes more dwarves.  They have no concern over men; they want only that I avenge the deaths of our own.  Come back with him dead or never come home again.  That is what they told me.  I know of no way to kill a rock troll.  Now, tell me your story.”

     “There’s not much to tell other than he stole my younger sister from her bed and my older sister he grabbed while she pursued him.  It is on me to get them back.”

     Cragger lit a pipe and took a long drag on it.  He blew it out in a large cloud.  “I’ve tracked him here.  He seems to like these ruins.”

     “Will you help me?  I will give you the means to kill him if you help me save my sisters.”

     “You’ve a way to kill him?”

     “Yes.  I will show you if you promise me your help.”

Double whammy on its way

     We have 6 to 10 inches of snow predicted with this double whammy storm coming through.  As I wrote this line in an E-mail I thought it might make a good opening for today’s post.

     I am NOT looking forward to a large amount of snow.  The Curmudgeon and the dogs aren’t either.  We have had enough.  Winter can end any time now.

     I’ve blessed my snow shoveler AJ from AJ Wildflowers every time she’s cleared our walks.  I am so glad we found her.

     I think today calls for plenty of hot coffee, warm snuggly clothes, and 65 lb dogs on laps.   The evening should consist of a stick the ribs sort of dinner and a glass of wine before bed.

     You all have a good one, stay warm and safe!

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I wish I’d said…

     How many times has that gone through your head?  Had a fight with someone and an hour later a brilliant riposte comes to mind…dang it… too little, too late. 

     Thinking of my baby sister and things I wish I’d said to her before she died.  Too late now.

     Telling my mother I loved her once again…wasn’t allowed to talk to her so that would be too late again.

     Thanking a dear friend for being my friend…he’s gone now…too late.

     Yes, there are many things I wish I’d said that I can’t say now…

     Here’s one I can say to a certain few people…even though you do not deserve it…  I forgive you.

      You all have a good one and be kind to each other.

No more snow…please?

     So, we had snow again.  I can’t tell you how tired of grey skies I am.  Yesterday, no sun and snow off and on all day.  Looks like we’ll have this fine snow all night–I’m typing this in the wee hours of the a.m.

     The forecast for Wednesday and Thursday says sun, that will be nice!  I’ve missed the sun.  Even so, having sun doesn’t mean warm.  The predicted temperatures for both days are 37 and 34 degrees Fahrenheit respectively.  I’d rather have 30 to 40 degrees more.

     Yes, I am looking forward to Spring.  I usually am by this time of year because I am not a fan of snow, ice, and cold.

You all have a good one!

 

 

Shawnee Tom the Piper’s Son

     I am not a collector of tea pots although I have three now.  2 of which I love and plan to keep forever because they came from my parents.  I have very little from them.

     Then there’s #3…it was my MIL’s…she was never nice to me and I have no desire to hang onto it and the S&P shakers that go with it.  Yes, they are for sale!!!!   $160.00  OBO!

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