Blog Archives

Since I’m still under the weather…

 

     I’m only just getting around to posting, we had some thunderstorms last night and I actually went to bed at a normal people time. 

     I thought I’d pass along a few bad puns so you all can moan and groan with me.

      Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

      Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

     I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel.

     What do you call a fish with no eyes?     A fsh.

     Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, “Dam!”
(They weren’t fish they were fsh.  Fish would’ve missed the dam.)

     A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

Will those horse pills ever be gone?

 

     I swear that bottle of antibiotic, horse pill/capsules hasn’t seemed to go down.  I even went so far as to count them today just to be sure they were.  These things are huge.  Heck, I think they’d choke a horse.  (Dave, they are 500 mg Cefadroxil.  Dave is not only a mystery writer but he’s a retired pharmacist.)  I’m so very glad I only have to take one every twelve hours.  They aren’t what are kicking my ass though, it’s the cough medicine that’s doing that.

     I won’t be writing this for long because I took some of that cough medicine a few minutes ago.  Just call me wheezy woozy.  Hmm, the label says, don’t drink alcohol with this stuff—um, no kidding you did that and you’d be passed out within two steps.  Don’t drive a car or operate heavy machinery while taking this—another word to the wise.  Take this stuff, try to drive, and you’ll be playing bumper cars.  As for operating heavy machinery—I don’t do that anyway, so you people are all quite safe.  Now it’s time to say good bye to all our company…The eyelids are slamming shut.  Have a good day.  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I should sleep like this more often

 

Holy Mickey Finn, Batman!  I have no idea where the day went but it went without me.  Here we go loop de loooo-oh boy.  Dear Hubby told me that I even dropped off to sleep in mid sentence more than once today.  I don’t care as long as this stuff works and clears the itises out.  At least I can talk now without feeling as though my throat is full of razor wire.

Now if I can only stay awake long enough toooozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..Er where was I?  Oh yes, if only I can stay awake long enough to post this.

Need ten days of sleep?

 

     I now know why the doctor asked me if I needed a note for work.  Holy crap, these meds knock me ass over tin cups.  I struggle to keep my eyes open for more than five minutes.  I have nine more days to go on them. 

     Let’s see, that could mean nine days of sporadic and silly posts.  It could mean nine days of gibberish.  Gee, I like that word.  Gibberish, it sounds more interesting than rubbish or twaddle.

     You would think that with all the wonderful fresh vegetables and fruits my family plied me with while I was up there visiting that I’d have been bursting at the seams with great health.  There’s nothing like fresh cauliflower, carrots, zucchini, watermelon, red raspberries, and blueberries freshly picked.  I picked a quart of blueberries Sunday afternoon, packed it in the back of the van, and one of the cousins stashed a couple of large zucchinis in there too.

     Now, I’m going to go back to sleep.

I spent my anniversary in the doctor’s office

 

     Here it was, our 36th wedding anniversary and what did we do?  Nothing.  I was too sick to do anything other than sleep.

     I should’ve called and made an appointment to see the doctor.  I had no idea it would be so busy there today.  I sat in the waiting room for two hours, which is the longest I’ve ever had to wait as a walk in.  I was quickly diagnosed with pharyingitis, laryngitis, and bronchitis.  Oh joy. 

     The nurse came in and gave me a shot.  I was handed two prescriptions and sent on my merry way.  Truly not so merry since I’m feeling miserable.  Dear Hubby is a doll he kept getting me things to drink when I’d become conscious.  The cough medicine and the antibiotic are both taken once every twelve hours.  They are kicking my ass. 

     They told me if don’t feel better in three days I should go back.  As it is, I feel as though there’s an elephant on my chest and I have a throat full of feathers.  They are tickling me into coughing fits.

     We will celebrate our anniversary AFTER I get through this nasty crap.

I’m home

     I made it home safe and sound.  However, I’m exhausted and somewhere, somehow, picked up some sort of nasty bug and by this afternoon I was feeling quite poorly.

     The wedding was beautiful.  I was able to snap a lot of pictures before my camera’s battery gave up the ghost.  I’m buying another battery pack or two so I always have a charged battery ready.  I saw so many shots I would’ve snapped had the camera been working that I was about ready to toss the darned thing under the wheels of some passing combine…

    Yeah, it’s farm country up there.   They did a tremondous amount of work on Grandpa’s farm to get it up to par.  Everything from tearing down the old kennels/chicken coops, the ancient barn, that for as many years as I can remember, has been ready to drop down onto its foundation,  to clearing the years of overgrowth in the never used side yard and planting grass there.

     I couldn’t be more delighted than I am now, knowing that my cousin and his new bride will settle in there.

Taking a break for the ROADTRIP!

 

     The suitcase is packed, the car will be loaded tomorrow, and then I’ll be on my way.  In the meantime, I hope you all have a good time while I’m gone.  I’ll post when I get home. 

     Dear Hubby is in charge of the house and dogs while I’m gone—I hope to heaven the dogs behave for him.  They can be a handful when I’m not around.  (When the alpha dog’s away…and all that.)  Hey, I even have an ‘Alpha Dog’ T-shirt and DH bought it for me.

     I’ve left DH a list—it’s not long, just reminders as to what to do with the dog’s water, the fish, and to remember to water the potted vegetable garden and the flowers in the pots on the front porch every afternoon once the sun is off them.  I know him, without a list he’d forget to water the plants.  He wouldn’t add the cider vinegar to the dog’s water, which, by the way, has cleared up Gavin’s chronic ear infection.  So we don’t want to stop doing that do we?  He’d also ignore the fish and they’d have to live on algae—they would not be pleased.

There’s nothing like a klutz owning a klutzy dog…

 

     I’ve said it many times I am a klutz.  Now I’m telling you so is Gavin.  Occasionally Gavin follows Dear Hubby upstairs when he comes to wake me.  Gavin loves the idea of a good bed bouncing wake up call for me.  This morning was one of those days.  Even Patty got into the act.

     So there I was, helpless, under my covers, with two dogs and a husband pouncing on me.  DH thinks it’s hysterical because when they get the chance it is dogs gone wild.  It is on the bed, off the bed, on the bed, off the bed, leaping higher and higher, getting wilder with each leap…you get the idea.  Meanwhile I’m getting bruised, bashed, and smooched on by the two idiot dogs and DH is giggling like a fool.

     Finally, after I’ve suffered enough DH yells, “downstairs!”  And the pups are off down the hall and the steps like a shot.

     I weakly crawled out from under the covers and I notice a bit of blood on my bottom sheet near where they’d been hopping about.  Great, I strip the bed so I can get the bloodstain out of my BRAND NEW sheets.  I get dressed and carry the bedding down the hall.  I notice more blood—not a lot just spots of it on the floor. 

     I called downstairs, “Honey, check the dogs someone is bleeding.  Better check Gavin first.”

     I was right it was Gavin.  He broke a claw again.  Normally when Gavin does it, it means a vet run because the broken claw is never completely broken off.  At least this time he did it right, and we were easily able to stop the bleeding—dang, broken claws bleed like crazy.  He does this often, don’t know why, how, or how to stop it from happening.  It’s like me spraining ankles—I do it with great frequency.

The underpinnings of a road trip

 

     I have my route planned out.  I even retyped and printed the directions from the first part of the trip in large, bold print so I can read it while driving at night.  Yes, even with an interior light on I’d have trouble with the tiny print out of the AAA Triptik.  No, I’m not blind but I do wear bifocals.  Okay, so I’m half blind….

     Tomorrow I’m off to the grocery store to make certain that Dear Hubby has what he wants in the fridge and that I have plenty of easy-to-eat-while-driving snacks for the car.  I’m not paying for food on the road.  I’m even taking a thermos of coffee and cooler full of Starbucks Mochacinos.  The only stops I’ll be making are to fill the gas tank and well…remove the coffee I put in me.

     Tuesday I’ll pack my suitcase, fill the gas tank, and set out my list of what to load in the car.  Yes, I do a list.  If I didn’t I’d forget something.  I even take my list along so when I pack to leave up there I know I have everything back in the car where it belongs.  I also leave instructions for Dear Hubby so he doesn’t forget things he needs to do when I’m gone—like water the potted tomato plants.

The gardens needed the rain

 

     It was almost time to drag out the hose and water the gardens.  After so much rain there for a while, we had a nice dry spell, but we were due for some rain.  The rain began around seven tonight and I’m jumping in here in between storm cells.

     During one break between downpours, I went outside with the flashlight and checked around the pond.  Dear Hubby calls this doing my frog count because I always tell him how many I’ve seen after I do my walk around each night.  They certainly were active in the yard tonight.  I think they were enjoying the rain.  I counted nine bullfrogs.  I don’t often see more than four or five most nights.

     One small bullfrog took my presence as a threat.  He panicked, screamed, and took off as if the hounds of hell were on his water tight butt.  The poor thing careened into a plastic coffee can (we have it near the pond for the worms I catch to feed the fish), then he bounced off of a piece of slate, took a high flying leap, and landed with a loud splash in the pond.  The bigger frogs have more sense.

Tag, I’m it…now who can I tag?

 

Crone and Bear It  bagged, tagged, snagged, hammered, and nailed me.  I’m sure she’s sitting over on her blog giggling while I struggle with this.   This is what she found when she looked up the word awesome,  “I looked up awesome and it doesn’t necessarily mean “wonderful”; in fact it can also mean:  alarming, astonishing, awe-inspiring, beautiful, awful, breathtaking, dreadful, exalted, fearful, formidable, frightening, imposing, mind-blowing, overwhelming, shocking, striking, stunning, terrible, terrifying, or wondrous”

First, here are the rules:

1. Write a list of 7 things that make you awesome.

2. Pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you love.

3. Tag those bloggers to let them know that they have joined the Royal Queen’s land and link back to the Queen Bee who tagged you.

I think I’ll steal one from Cronie since I can beat her… 😉

1. I’m married to my High School sweetheart for what will be 36 years on July 21st and I wouldn’t trade one minute with anyone. 

2. I don’t take any crap from anyone, I speak my mind, damn the torpedoes and all that—see The Crone’s definition of awesome above.

3. I never make a promise I can’t keep.

4. I chose to follow my own path in life.

5. I rescued and placed a great number of Bull Terriers in good homes for over 20 years and only had one bounce back to me.

6. I’m writing three mysteries at one time.

7. I’ll give my loved ones and friends the shirt off my back and the shoes from my feet if they need them; I’ll bail them out, or be in the cell with them.

Here are the awesome people I’m tagging:

bringmesunshine.wordpress.com She always makes me smile…

nybullybrats.blogspot.com Has a good heart and rescues Bullies.

carolsartblog.wordpress.com My cousin–She’s an awesome artist

grannysramblings.wordpress.com I adore her.

groomerang.blogspot.com another great Bully person who has a good heart.

i-need-a-sugar-fix.blogspot.com A good person who took on the challenge of a deaf Bully–we need more people like her in this world

sunnymom.wordpress.com A single Mom who impresses me greatly

Yeah, I know I said I hated cell phones, but…

 

     When you’re driving three hundred and fifty miles alone, it makes sense to have a cell phone along with you.  I hate the damned things but I bought one.  Dear Hubby is pleased.  He was worried. 

     I bought a Go phone.  I’m not paying for fancy bells and whistles.  I walked into one of our local AT&T phone stores this afternoon.  Clayton asked me if I needed help. 

     “I need a Go phone.”

     He showed me several. 

     I looked at the prices and winced.  “What’s your cheapest phone?”

     He looked at me as if I’d sprouted a third eye and a set of antenna.  “Well, there’s is one.  It’s $29.99.  But it doesn’t do nearly as much as these others.”

     “Honey, I don’t need or want a lot of bells and whistles.”  I went on to explain how I hate the damned things and the idiots who drive while talking on them—all those close calls I’ve had with men and women alike who were so busy yakking they weren’t paying attention to the road.  

     “Then there are the rude people who yell on them while in stores or libraries.  I really do not want to listen to their private conversations.  I’m only buying one for my husband’s peace of mind because I’m going to be driving alone for three hundred and fifty miles.  I’m not a technophobe.  I hate being available 24/7.  I don’t need an umbilical cord to the world.  That’s why I have an answering machine.”

     Clayton got it.  He grinned.  “You’ll like this one.”  He held up a tiny phone.

     I groaned, “Another thing to get lost in my purse.”  I peered at the teensy number pad and screen.  “They sure don’t make these for half blind people like me, do they?”

     Clayton cracked up.

     I bought the damned phone.