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How to bathe the dog
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Gorgeous weather today made the pups miserable. Actually it wasn’t the day itself it was what I did to them. Smelly Gavin and stinky Patty got baths. I am on their LIST. After they had their baths and were dry, their majesties did their utmost best to let me know that I’d gone to the top of their LIST. I rose higher on the LIST than squirrels, annoying kids, strange dogs who pee on their fence, and a late dinner.
I did not apologize to them. They reeked and were in dire need of baths. You’d think they’d want to be nice and clean sweet-smelling dogs. Nope, they’d rather smell horrible. It’s a dog thing.
How to bathe Patty: A) Keep her from hiding in either crate by closing the doors. B) Drag her upstairs to the bathroom. C) Lift her 65 lb limp, dead weight into the tub. D) Begin the torture of bathing. E) Spread a towel on the floor, drop a cookie, and back up. F) Dry her. G) Release her from the bathroom to have her karoom down the steps and around the downstairs. H) Crate her with a cookie reward until she’s dry.
How to bathe Gavin: A) Show him a cookie. B) Tell him “Let’s go bed bouncing.” C) Follow him upstairs. D) Throw the cookie into the tub and watch him hop into it. E) Close shower doors so he doesn’t jump back out. F) Begin his torture—you mean get me wet all over? G) Hose him down, get soaked when he shakes. H) Soap him, get soaked when shakes. I) Rinse him, get soaked when he shakes. J) Step back, get soaked when he shakes. K) Dry him, get soaked when shakes. L) Release him from the bathroom. M) Crate him with a cookie. N) Go dry all the walls and the floor of the bathroom. O) Change into dry clothes.
Posted in Dog related, My blog, Weather related, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Ark too Brutus?
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Gavin and Patty requested the use of a raft to go out today. It might have worked except they have no thumbs and can’t hold paddles. We’ve had so much rain that I heard the stock prices on gopher wood jumped through the roof. I’ve seen pairs of animals strolling past all day. Ba dum dum.
The neighbor’s bulldogs Diamond and Brutus ordered snorkel gear although Brutus really wanted a boat. Cleo, the standard poodle across the street, rented herself out as a squirrel canoe. The two toy dogs next door stepped off their porch and almost drowned so Gavin lent them the raft.
The Koi are touring the neighborhood and the bullfrogs are using in the magnolia tree as a diving board. The daffodils want water wings. Did I mention that we’ve had a lot of rain?
Posted in Dog related, Misc, my garden, Weather related, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Fish, Gardening, Gardens, Home, Humor, Koi, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pond, Ponds, Writer, Writing
Two dogs on a rainy day
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Gavin rings the sleigh bells on the back porch door. “Wanna go out, NOW.”
“Hold on let me get a jacket.” I snag one off the hooks by the door. The bells are still ringing. “I’m right here. Stop with the bells already.”
We get outside and it’s raining.
Gavin runs for the door. “Wanna go in, NOW.”
We go in. Gavin doesn’t tell Patty it is raining. Patty wants out. I take her.
A raindrop hits her on the head she tucks her tail and reverses gears. “In. I wanna go in. Oh, please let’s go in.”
We go in.
Both dogs dance around in front of the cupboard. “Cookies! Don’t forget the cookies!” Gavin yells.
Patty sits and throws her front paws high in the air. “Stick ‘em up, I’m doing stick ‘em up! Give me a cookie.”
I give them their cookies, settle down in front of the computer and begin writing.
Five minutes later Gavin is ringing the bells to go out. “I’m bored. Wanna go out, NOW.”
Patty runs to join him. “If he’s going, I am too.”
“It’s still raining.” I tell them as I grab my jacket. Reread.
Posted in Dog related, My blog, Weather related, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Happy Saint Patrick’s Day everyone!
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Posted in My blog
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Writer, Writing
The trespasser
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Gavin and Patty jockeyed for the best position at the kitchen window. They wanted to see and bark at the dark stranger in the yard. He ignored them.
Gavin barked, “My yard!”
Patty yodeled, “Get out. You don’t belong there.”
Gavin ran to the back door and rang the sleigh bells like a street corner Santa on speed. “Let me at him.”
Patty leapt upon the radiator. “Why I oughta…”
“Quiet you two. Enough!” I dragged Patty off the radiator and backed Gavin away from the bells. “One more peep out of you and you’ll kennel up until you cool down.”
DH yelled down the stairs, “What the heck is with them?”
“Woo, Woo, Woof!”
“That’s it. Kennels.”
They retreated to their crates and I closed the doors behind them. Then I went to the bottom of the stairs to thank DH for the ruckus.
“You had to mention there was a big old crow in the yard using words they know didn’t you?”
“What?”
“You said, ‘look, outside, and yard’ and you used an excited tone. They ran to look outside and saw the damned crow.”
“Oh. Sorry about that.”
{Sigh} Is there such a thing as a quiet day?
Posted in Dog related, Misc, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
They say a picture is worth a thousand words…
Posted by doggonedmysteries
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- Mine! {Sigh, baby sisters are a pain}
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- I said gimme!
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- Gimme
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- I want his
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- Bone chewing time
Gavin can be so tolerant…
Posted in Dog related, Misc, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Westminster Dog Show nights
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Every February we spend two nights watching the Westminster Dog Show. When I used to show our BTs, I dreamed of showing one our dogs there one day. Well, life oftentimes changes things as ours has. We’ll never have a dog entered at Westminster because we no longer show dogs. However, we can enjoy making our picks, competing with each other on which dogs will win, and watch the best of the best make it to the Best in Show ring.
I drive DH crazy because I pick an average 3 out of 4 winners in each group. (Dang I should’ve wagered money on this with him.) This year I picked all four ribbon winners in the Non-sporting group in the correct order. In addition, I managed to pick 3 out of 4 for the rest of the groups. For the last several years, I’ve picked the Best in Show winner too. I knew Elliot Weiss would pick the Scottie, Sadie. She was flawless, and once a terrier person, always a terrier person. I must add here that the Best in Show group, in its entirety, was breath taking.
When I first met him (oh, so many) years ago, Elliot was a professional handler. Malcolm had managed to make it to terrier group. Professionals, handle most of the terrier breeds, with the exception of some BTs and a very few others. When I entered the ring, I saw many handlers who, in the dog show world, were legendary and who was it in front of me in line? Elliot. He was very nice. He saw that I was nervous and gave me a few encouraging words. We didn’t win, but it certainly was exciting for me, a mere mortal, to compete in the same ring with all those renowned handlers.
Posted in Dog related, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Bones, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, dog shows, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Home, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Westminster Dog Show, Writer, Writing
Even dogs get cabin fever
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Neither Patty nor Gavin enjoy trudging through the deep snow outside. Therefore, they’ve begun to romp inside more than usual with DH and me taking the brunt of their zest. They run around like maniacs and use us as bumpers when they make turns. Either that or they leap onto our laps leaving black and blue paw prints behind.
Gavin had quieted down and had stretched out alongside me in my chair. He likes an afternoon nap. Patty was still looking for mischief. First, she poked his paw with her nose as she walked by. Then she walked past again and nosed his chest. The third time by she poked him in the nose a couple of times. I must say Gavin tried mightily to ignore her.
She, who is not to be ignored, wanted to play. She went and stood by DH’s chair and studied Gavin for a few minutes. Gavin was trying to doze. He even faked it by closing his eyes tight. However, I could feel his body tense as he sensed her scrutiny.
Patty walked past us and went into the kitchen. A few seconds later, she bounded back into the living room and pounced on both of us. Gavin shot out of the chair, bully runs and hucklebutts ensued. I can’t wait until they can burn off some energy outside.
Posted in Dog related, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Snow, Writer, Writing
Yuck, no more white stuff please
Posted by doggonedmysteries
What can I say? When this winter is finally over, I won’t want to see anything white for many months. Maybe I’ll dye Gavin green for March.
Never mind, knowing the people in this area I think I’d get tired of hearing, “Hey lady you’ve got a green dog.”
“Ya think?”
How about neon pink? He has to go for his shots and our vet has a great sense of humor. Can you see me walking a neon pink Gavin into his office?
“Hi A. Do you think that Gavin’s allergies might be getting worse?”
He’d take one look at neon pink Gavin and fall on the floor laughing.
Would Patty get jealous and want her white parts tinted too?
If I had some food coloring in the house, I’d go air brush the darned snow. A yard full of rainbow colors would certainly look more cheerful.
On second thought, knowing my dogs, all that color would track inside the house and what a lovely mess I’d have to clean up. I guess I’ll live with the plain old white snow.
I wrote this in the wee hours of the morning as usual. It’s now late in the afternoon and we are in blizzard conditions. From the looks of things outside, we may be inside for a month!
Go ahead Lee, if you are reading this, LAUGH your A$$ off.
I can’t find my van or DH’s pick up in the driveway, and I’m going to have to dig a path in the yard for the dogs.
Posted in Weather related, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Snow, Writer, Writing
The house of cleaning horrors
Posted by doggonedmysteries
This old house seems to breed dust. I could vacuum, mop, and dust every day and I don’t think it would make much of a difference. I kid you not. I dust off the coffee table, and I swear, ten minutes later, you can write your name in it again. Vacuum the rug and a split second later you can see the dog hair rise out of the pile like Neptune from the sea.
Dust bunnies procreate faster than real ones. Then they mushroom from teensy baby dust bunnies to killer rogues in no time. I have to beat them into submission. I saw the dogs running from one the other day.
The ceiling fans grow a coat of fur more rapidly than a shaved poodle. It’s downright scary. I’m also constantly cleaning cobwebs from the ceiling and corners and yet they stay one jump ahead of me.
Muddy paw prints on the kitchen floor are nothing compared to the tracked in salt at the front door. Cleaning up that mess takes more elbow grease than what would fill a deep fry vat at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Posted in Misc, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Writer, Writing
Finally decided on a paint color for the kitchen…
Posted by doggonedmysteries
I’ve wanted to paint the kitchen forever. I’ve waffled over this repeatedly. One after another, paint sample cards have hung on the wall above the cabinets where I can see them from my desk. Some were too dark, others too light, then one day a few months ago, G gave me a couple of cards she’d brought home for her own use and had used to choose her colors.
I narrowed my choices down to two colors. Behr paint’s Delicious Melon and Luminary both extremely close but it was the darker of the two that seems to work best. Luminary was my choice. It draws on the floor tile color, it’s light enough to be cheerful, and it has a nice warmth to it.
This will be my spring project. Once I can open the windows I’ll go buy the paint. Painting anything in this house takes on a comedic shape. Two Bull Terriers, a ladder, drop cloth, paint rollers, and fresh paint are disasters waiting to happen. It’s good thing the wall color will be similar to the floor.
That sounds weird, similar to the floor. I’m telling you it will look nice. The cabinets are a medium stain on birch and the counter top is forest green. The floor is a pale peach tone with small accent tiles of green. The back splash is white. The paint will make the cabinets pop and it will brighten an ugly paneled kitchen. When I do it this spring, I’ll post before and after pictures.
We are not responsible for the paneling it was here when we moved in. I’d tear it down but then that would mean hiring someone in to put up dry wall and take down the nasty drop ceiling. We can’t afford that.
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, Craft of writing, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pets, Writer, Writing
Gavin doesn’t do well with change
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Poor Gavin. He’s very confused. Our kitchen is the coldest room in the house. Gavin’s crate has been in the kitchen since he arrived here at the age of eight weeks. He’s now eight years old. I moved his crate to the living room tonight. With the dreadfully cold weather we’ve had lately, he’s been fussing at night in his crate trying to cover himself with his bedding.
I did some rearranging of furniture a few hours ago and his crate is now next to Patty’s. (Oh, yeah this has also confused her a bit.) When I moved Gavin’s crate, he was busy getting a belly tickle from DH so he really didn’t notice. When DH finished, I showed Gavin where his crate was. I did, honestly I did. Gavin even went in and out of it several times.
Then we let Patty out of her crate so she could see the change too. She thought it was a funny joke. She quickly pounced on, and teased Gavin. Then she did a silly huckle butt on the couch. All this wound Gavin up and he raced back and forth from living room to kitchen. They took a while to settle down.
When I told them to kennel up, Gavin ran to the kitchen and looked for his crate, and looked for his crate, and stood in the middle of the floor looking puzzled. I showed him his crate, again. It’s going to take a while for him to get used to this. In the meantime, I might need to go looking for a dog psychologist.
Posted in Dog related, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
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