Blog Archives
Malcolm’s Mayhem 13
Posted by doggonedmysteries
We hadn’t planned to own more than one Bull Terrier again. The last female we’d brought into our home hated Malcolm. The whole eight months she lived here, the merciless Mercy tried to kill him. Although Malcolm took her murder attempts with good humor, we couldn’t handle it in our small house. Mercy is the dog who pulled the entire back off our sofa from the inside of her crate, a feat we never did figure out, but my theory is that Malcolm helped her. I’m sure he gave her an end of the material to tug, egged her on, and then sat back waiting for her to catch hell. Fortunately, she was a young, pretty girl. Her breeder was glad to take her back and find her a home without another dog in it.
Then Sadie came into our lives. Dear Hubby had never shown an interest in colored Bull Terriers but this one stole his heart. When I rescued her from a shelter, she showed obvious signs of abuse and neglect. I keep the rescue dogs at a distance while they are with us. Early on when I began rescuing Bull Terriers, I learned not to become too attached to them the hard way. It hurt too much to give them up to a home if I did, and I didn’t have room for more than two permanent dogs.
Sadie was shy where Malcolm was outgoing they were suited to each other. She grew more outgoing and loving over the years. This was good. On the other hand, Malcolm did introduce her to monkey business and she became a real pro. Not good.
Sadie was the dog who ate the five-foot square area of vinyl floor in my kitchen. These days, I’m smarter, now I have a ceramic tile floor in my kitchen.
Malcolm adored Sadie, she adored DH and Malcolm, and I wasn’t surprised the day DH came home with a new collar for her along with her own shiny, new dog license.
“I guess she’s staying,” I said when he showed them to me.
“She loves us.”
“And, she hasn’t tried to bump off Malcolm.” I looked at the two dogs curled up together on the sofa. “It looks like we’re a two dog family again.”
Posted in Dog related, My blog
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Don’t want to go out in the snow
Posted by doggonedmysteries
I took the dogs out before they went to bed, it wasn’t too cold, and the ground was almost dry. The dogs were snoozing for hours when I figured it was time for their late night trip outside.
Gavin came out of his warm and cozy crate still sleepy. When I opened the back door to let him out, he gave me a look of disgust. “You got me out of my nice warm bed for this?”
Snow had covered the ground with thin blanket and large flakes were dancing down from the sky. A few years ago, he would’ve been bouncing out the door, racing around in the snow, and snatching up large bites. Tonight he took as few steps out into the yard as possible to do his business. I hope it was the late hour and not that he’s beginning to grow up.
Patty’s reaction was almost identical except she walked a bit further into the yard.
It’s raining now and getting warmer so by morning most of the snow will be gone. I almost wish it would remain long enough to see if their reactions were only due to the late hour and not to them outgrowing the puppy joys of snow.
Posted in Dog related, My blog
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Humor, Life, Love, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Santa’s elves didn’t have kids
Posted by doggonedmysteries
You can blame the Lipstick Chronicles and Harley’s last post for my blog tonight. It made me remember the things Dear Hubby and I used to do during the Christmas holidays.
We didn’t have children. However, we did celebrate Christmas in our own way. Each year we’d buy toys and drop them in the Toys for Tots bin. (We still do that.) We’d put up a Christmas tree, decorate the house, and I’d bake cookies and fancy breads. Our neighbors would bring their children’s gifts to our house. We marked each household’s gifts and stored them in the attic.
Every Christmas Eve we’d go to one neighbor’s house for a small party. (We were their second child’s Godparents.) Around nine we’d go home. They’d put their two daughters to bed and wait for us to return with Santa’s gifts. For the next couple of hours, Dear Hubby and I would run up and down the street delivering Santa’s gifts to the other neighbors. Our last stop would be back at our Goddaughter’s. Usually, her mother and I assembled the toys well before Christmas Eve. However, on occasion, DH and I were the elves who put them together Christmas Eve.
When our Goddaughter hit the Barbie doll and bicycle age, we in some way turned into the elf assembly team and Dear Hubby and I put together the Barbie townhouse-a flimsy affair. We then carried it three doors down the street in ten mph winds and snow. Upon arrival inside our friend’s home, we all sat down with a bottle of wine and spent another hour rebuilding it.
The next year we had the construction of Barbie’s car and the application of gazillions of stickers to it. These stickers were so teensy that they required an electron microscope, tweezers, and the hands of a surgeon to apply them.
In the year of the bicycle, our Goddaughter’s father and DH spent two days putting it together. I hadn’t heard language like that since I’d worked construction.
Late at night, every Christmas Eve after all the gifts were distributed, I put small strings of sleigh bells on my dogs and walked them for several blocks. The dogs loved the walks and I think they got a kick out of the bells because they sure would make certain they jingled a lot.
My cousin’s art blog
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Tonight I was so busy working on my book that I couldn’t think of anything to write about for my blog. Then it occurred to me to send you over to see what my cousin is doing. She’s quite the talented artist.
I haven’t seen her for about thirty five years and we only recently managed to get in touch because her sister directed me to the blog. You’ll find the link to her blog in my blogroll-Carol’s art blog.
She has quite a collection of her work there so do take the time to check through her back blogs.
Have fun!
Posted in Misc, My blog, My books, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
All I needed was dog food…
Posted by doggonedmysteries
I had to go to the pet store for dog food today. I knew there was no way I could put it off any longer. Horror of horrors, Gavin and Patty had the last of their kibble for breakfast this morning. If I didn’t have dog food in time for their dinner, my life would be a living hell. Gavin scolds me enough when it hits five o’clock and I haven’t begun to fix their dinners. Imagine the screaming I’d be in for if I didn’t have dog food. Bull Terriers can and will scream at you.
Once there, I drove around the large parking lot at the strip mall for quite a while before I could find a place to park. I’m always willing to park in the boondocks but even the remote never-used-except-at-this-time-of-year parking spaces had no openings. At last, a spot opened up, I parked, and dashed from the car to the store.
Once in the door, I grabbed a cart and instead of heading directly back to where their food resides I picked up two bags of their favorite cookies, ear cleaner (won’t Patty be pleased? NOT!) And two large Nylabones.
We haven’t bought the pups new bones in a while and their toy box is looking a bit empty. Yes, they are spoiled. There was also a method to my madness. I hate crowds and I don’t want to go back there until after the holidays.
Arriving home, I dragged the huge bag of food inside. I went back out to the car for the other stuff, and when I returned to the kitchen, the dogs mugged me. The pups had caught the scent and couldn’t wait for me to open the Nylabone packages. They danced about and jumped on me, each wanting to be the first one to have a new bone. We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening watching the two of them alternately steal each other’s new bone and celebrate each theft with couch bounces, headshakes, and wagging tails.
Posted in Dog related, My blog, Uncategorized
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Bottom Line Books scam
Posted by doggonedmysteries
My mother in law is eighty-one years old. Her vision is poor and she doesn’t read. She’s never read more than a few books. This is a great sorrow for me, a writer.
However, Bottom Line Books has relentlessly billed her for books that she never ordered, never received, and didn’t want. They’ve even sent her to collection through the North Shore Agency, Inc.
Dear Hubby spent three days on the phone calling North Shore trying to get through their maze. After bouncing from one number to another and spending hours at a time in the phone, he at last talked to a human. He told the person that he was a retired Police Officer. His mother hadn’t ordered the books. She didn’t receive or want them, and was being fraudulently billed. He explained that he’d researched both their company and client and that he understood that they provide a service that some people don’t like. He added that as a Police Officer, he was often disliked and unappreciated. The person passed his call to her manager. Dear Hubby suggested to the manager that they check into their clients’ background before they accept a job. The collection they were doing on his mother was bogus. The manager told him they’d take care of it and deleted my MIL from their list.
The manager did a search for any more collections from Bottom Line Books listed at my MIL’s address. A few seconds later, she said, “here’s another collection for Bottom Line at that residence it has a different first name.”
Dear Hubby chuckled and told them, “I’m sure he’d be glad to pay the bill but it will be hard to reach him. The delivery charge might be a bit steep and his current residence has no zip code, unless it’s the dead letter office. He’s been deceased for over ten years.” The collection agency manager weakly replied, “No problem we’ll take care of that one as well.”
*See my post: Bottom line books scam part 2
**See also: Painvanish another scam and Painvanish problem settled
That white fluffy stuff
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Here on the east coast, it’s been pouring for two days and it’s still raining. I’m glad all this rain isn’t snow. If it had been, we’d be under several feet of the white fluffy stuff by now. It has commonly happened to us here in the past. I’m happy that so far this winter I haven’t had to go out and shovel snow.
Over the years, I’ve taken pictures of the pathways we had to dig through the deep snow in our yard so the dogs could go out. Our dogs aren’t little guys. There was one year when Dear Hubby’s (four-wheel drive, extended cab) Chevy pick-up truck couldn’t make it out of our driveway because the snow was up to the top of the hood.
I heard that Louisiana and Mississippi got snow. Some areas even had a significant amount of snow, eight inches. Therefore, to those of you in Mississippi and Louisiana I say drive carefully that white stuff is slippery. In areas that get snow on a regular basis, gong under the speed limit when there’s snow on the ground is normal. We learn this early.
Another snow tip: If you spray your shovel and snow blower chutes with cooking spray the snow slides off easily.
Posted in Misc, My blog, Uncategorized, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
What’s the worst gift you ever received?
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Dear Hubby and I no longer exchange wrapped gifts. He doesn’t have the energy or strength to go shopping and I hate to shop. Instead, we think of things we like to buy or do and we go out together and buy or do whatever.
On our first Christmas, DH surprised me with a pair of diamond earrings, they weren’t large, they weren’t fancy, but to me they were the crown jewels and I loved them. To this day, I’m seldom seen without them.
I think it was our second Christmas where he made a mistake. He listened to his mother about what gift he should buy for me. Maybe some people would love to receive a new vacuum cleaner, but cleaning items have never ranked a place on my Santa’s list. Cleaning is work. DH never made that sort of blunder again.
Since that second year fiasco, he has managed to buy me brilliant and insightful gifts, gifts that have brought tears of joy to my eyes. The best of them weren’t expensive they were the gifts that proved he’d been listening to me during the year.
Now you tell me what was your ‘worst’ gift ever?
Sure, give me a down filled robe
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Dear Hubby was leafing through a catalogue tonight and managed to come across a few items he knew to be completely unsuitable for me right now. Things like Doctor Dentons made of fleece, down filled robes, or wraps made like electric blankets…the perfect gifts for a woman whose inner child plays with matches. Yeah, right. This man had the nerve to giggle as he showed them to me, certainly not a safe thing to do.
I told him, “Go ahead, and laugh mister. You have to sleep sometime. Keep in mind that I write murder mysteries. I also do all the cooking around here. Mwahaha!”
In this house, my hot flashes are legendary. Dear Hubby swears that if he could hook me to the furnace in some way we’d save a fortune on fuel bills. (Gee, thanks.)
Another thing, he’s always cold and cranks up the thermostat and I turn it down. “Are you trying to roast me alive?”
I’m telling you it’s not Global warming that’s screwing up our climate, it’s all us baby boomers hitting menopause.
Another great TV show bites the dust
Posted by doggonedmysteries
As I watched Boston Legal tonight, it was with a heavy heart. Though I took delight in the show itself, I sorrowed over the loss of it. Tonight was the last episode of one of the best shows ABC has presented us in years.
I will miss the passionate Alan Shore, the zany ‘mad cow’ afflicted Denny Crane, the calm Shirley Schmidt, and the rest of the charmingly offbeat characters in the cast.
The show’s adept writers created a program that handled scores of sensitive subjects. They dealt with racism, women’s rights, gay rights, disabilities, sexual harassment, and many other issues but they handled it well. The characters steam rolled through with humor, sensitivity, love, and in Denny’s case political incorrectness and guns.
What is ABC replacing this marvelous show with you ask? One of those shows that doesn’t require writers or actors of any intelligence or ability. They will be presenting us with another brainless reality show. Not a show that draws you in and brings you to tears of joy or grief for characters you grow to love or hate.
Instead of talented actors/actresses who deliver clever lines of impeccable dialogue that takes you to their world, you will get to watch another simple-minded show.
I can picture the network big wigs discussing expenses and coming up with, “Why spend money? Why not put great writers and actors out of work and replace them with low budget, no talent idiocy. The public won’t care.”
Posted in Misc, My blog, Uncategorized
Tags: Author, books, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, TV, Writer, Writing
Cold remedies
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Gavin here, Mom is sick. She has a bad case of the creeping cruds, or what you humans call ‘a nasty cold’ so Patty and I are standing in for her tonight. We’re both curious about what she calls cold remedies. We know she’s tried a few that some friends recommended.
Elena suggested to Mom that she should drink some thyme tea and even told her how to make it. You should’ve seen Mom’s face when she drank that. Patty says to tell you that Mom also said a few colorful words when she tasted it. (None of which I’m allowed to type here.)
Oh, excuse me a minute Mom is over in her chair coughing I must go jump on her chest and lick her face.
Now where was I? Ah, yes. Cold cures. A green tea and honey cure came from a neighbor. There’s another one Mom swears by, hot and sour soup. Dad got it for her from the Chinese restaurant. It smelled good, we tried begging for some but she wouldn’t share.
Do you have a special cold cure for our Mom? We sure would like her up, around, and ready to play with us again.
Posted in Dog related, Misc, My blog
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Preparing for a novelectomy
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Last night I spent a couple of hours online with a fellow mystery writer. We had a brainstorming/critiquing session, something we haven’t done for a while. At the end of the session, I sent him my current manuscript. He got back to me today.
It looks like I’ll be surgically removing a few scenes. I keep a file for each book where I stash rejected scenes, characters, dialogue. One never knows if something from one book will work better in another one.
Unlike some of my readers, my dear friend always kicks my ass. He knows I can do better. I do the same for him. We don’t want the warm fuzzies from each other. We want better writing. We DEMAND better writing.
Tonight I’ll tighten, tweak, slash and burn my book. Odds-on I will bang my head on the keyboard more than a few times and shake my fist at my friend. When I’m finished, I hope I can sail through to the end and produce an exceptional book that you all will enjoy.
While I’m groaning, whining, screaming in frustration, and performing the needed surgery Dear Hubby will be watching TV pretending he doesn’t hear my complaints. The pups will snooze in their favorite spots waiting for the tempest to pass.
Doggonedmysteries 