Blog Archives
Luddite vs. technophile in the dog world
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Patty is a Luddite while Gavin is a technophile. Gavin loves the electric back massager, nail grinder, and whipped cream shot from a can. Patty, on the other hand, hides when we turn on the back massager and nail grinder. She’s not very sure she cares for the can that shoots whipped cream.
You can blame Linda of Crone and Bear it for me trying this. Both dogs had their introduction to canned whipped cream after we had our pecan pie. Their reactions were clearly opposite.
Gavin leapt about scolding and begging for more after the first blast. “Wow. That stuff comes out of a can? Hit me with your best shot.”
Patty’s was clearly a low-tech approach. “Don’t point that thing at me just let the white stuff drop on the floor mom. I’ll get it from there.”
I doubled over in the giggles shouting ‘food fight’ sending blasts of whipped cream streaming into the dogs’ mouths. We managed to annoy DH who was trying to watch TV but the pups and I were having a good time. Sometimes DH can be an old stick in the mud.
Posted in Dog related, Food, Holidays
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Food, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Writer, Writing
The psycho Target lady is back
Posted by doggonedmysteries
I hated those commercials last year and this year’s are worse. In general, I’m not fond of Christmas commercials but psycho lady must go. She completely creeps me out. If she lived in my neighborhood, I’d probably suffer with nightmares or rather, in my case, daymares. I’d lock my doors when she was active and never offer her coffee—she’s very hyperactive as it is.
Other commercials that bug me are those car commercials. Tell me, how often do people give each other cars for Christmas?
Gentlemen, the push is on to have you buy the little woman jewelry. Hang on to those receipts so she can return whatever you bought. DH doesn’t buy me jewelry unless I’m with him because he knows I am very fussy about it.
Lest we forget, there are the little kiddies to remember. All the commercials are screaming buy them expensive electronics. They even have pricey electronics for toddlers. Oh, come on! Toddlers are happiest with the box the electronics come in or with a kitchen pot and a spoon to bang it. Save yourselves some bucks people.
Posted in Favorite TV shows, Misc
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Psycho Target Lady, Writer, Writing
Staying positive in a negative world
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Staying positive is not an easy thing to do today when all you hear about on the news or read in the newspaper is the bad stuff. Yes, there are bad people out there in the world, nasty people who enjoy causing pain and suffering. There are greedy people who have no hearts.
However, there are good people out there too, generous and giving people. Wouldn’t it be great if we heard more about them? I could stand seeing the headlines shout about more good stuff for a change. Maybe if the crap stuff that people do went from front-page news to a minor paragraph on page ten, or a short blurb on the TV news, fewer thrill seekers would be vying for their fifteen minutes of fame.
Give me less Hollywood idiocy and show me true good acts and kindnesses. I do not care which star is screwing which, nor do I give a darn about the so-called reality shows where backbiting is the norm.
Give me real heroes and fewer lunatics and for crying out loud, if the politician can’t keep it in his pants quickly get him out of office and don’t tell me about it day after day after day for months. Once is enough.
Posted in Misc
Tags: Author, Bones, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Writer, Writing
Check out lines need warning lights
Posted by doggonedmysteries
I’ve stated many times in my blog that I hate shopping. It’s true I do. I hate going to stores and shopping for things. I hate grocery shopping so much that I have six months worth of meats delivered to my house so I can cut back on the time I spend in a grocery store.
Speaking of grocery stores and shopping there. I think there should be a flashing warning light on check out lines where someone has fifty million coupons. I want to get in the store do my shopping and get the hell out thank you very much. I do not want to stand in line for twenty minutes having my frozen foods thaw while the idiot in front of me, who has handed the clerk a pile of coupons that equals the height of the Empire State building, saves fifteen dollars.
Warn me and let me go to another line. If you are the clerk and you know this person always hands you a chit load of coupons, hit the light switch and turn on that flashing light that says ‘warning coupon shopper ahead, you may be delayed.’
If you are that person with the coupon fetish, do not wait until I’ve emptied the entire contents of my cart onto the conveyer, and then whip out that mountain of coupons and hand them to the clerk. Please, I beg you, as I push my cart into the line, tell me you have the equivalent of the entire encyclopedia Britannica in coupons in your purse. I will go to another line. You won’t have me behind you moaning and banging my head on the shopping cart while the clerk scans each coupon.
Posted in Misc
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coupon, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Grocery store, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Writer, Writing
Our dogs sleep in weird positions
Posted by doggonedmysteries
A loud thumping came from Gavin’s crate. I wondered what he was doing so I peeked. All I saw was a white butt and four white feet in the air. Can you say relaxed? He loves to sleep upside down in his crate. He’s done it since he was a puppy. I’d try to snap a picture but that never works. As soon as I get close to the crate, he springs to life and his feet.
In the meantime, Patty had sacked out on the couch with her head buried under a pillow. I have no idea how she can breathe like that but she often sleeps that way. Then there’s her butt on the pillow position, which cracks me up. Look on the Bullpen page and you’ll find a picture.
Our old female, Sadie used to sleep next to DH on his chair. She’d sleep so soundly that when DH went to bed and shifted her onto the entire seat cushion she never noticed.
Our old male, Malcolm was another one who regularly slept on his back with all four feet in the air. They look like bloated road kill when they do that in the middle of the floor.
Posted in Dog related
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Leaf leapers—another year gone by
Posted by doggonedmysteries
The yard is a sea of leaves and the trees still have more to drop. It wouldn’t be so bad except now they are wet leaves. As soon as they dry, it’s time for me to put on the work gloves and get raking.
Patty and Gavin love the leaves. I think the silly dogs are both dying for me to rake them into piles into which they can leap. They’re worse than kids are about leaf piles.
Each dog has its own style of leaf pile diving. Patty loves to race up to the pile, leap high, and land in the center. Gavin prefers the tank style of plowing through them.
They both love it when I join in on the fun. They hop about begging me to kick leaves up into the air for them to pounce on. You’d never guess that Gavin had his tenth birthday on November 1 with all his energy.
I find it hard to believe it was ten years ago that I picked up that little eight-week-old white puppy at the airport customs office. He was a ball of energy then and hasn’t slowed since.
Posted in Dog related, Weather related
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mystery, Novel writing, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Welcome to robin central
Posted by doggonedmysteries
As the robins prepare for their migration south, my yard has become robin central. Every day there are literally hundreds of robins in our three trees, on the ground, in the birdbath, and at the pond all vying for their turn to drink and bathe.
The other day I somehow managed to stretch the netting over the pond on my own. The idea was to keep more leaves from getting into the pond. Mother Nature had other ideas.
Fifteen minutes after I had the netting in place, a robin flapped around on the pond trapped under the netting. I freed it by showing him an opening and with some coaxing. He wasn’t thrilled with me. I had visions of things to come.
When I crawled out of bed today, DH told me, “I had to set five robins free this morning.”
It took a minute or two for that to register in my coffee deprived brain. “From where?”
“The pond, they were under the netting. I lifted the edges in a few places so they can get out on their own next time.”
“Oh, crap. I thought I had enough openings for the idiot birds. If we still had bullfrogs the birds wouldn’t swarm all over the pond.”
Oh, yeah we’re getting more tadpoles in the spring.
Posted in my garden
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Gardening, Gardens, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pond, Ponds, Water garden
The phone number hop
Posted by doggonedmysteries
I find it strange how some people change their phone numbers as often as they change their under drawers because I’ve had the same phone number for thirty-seven years.
I’ve asked a few people about this trend. Some tell me they do it to stay one jump ahead of their creditors. Others tell me they do it because they want to avoid people to which they’ve given their number. I say why not pay the bills and not give your number to creepy people.
I know several people who have changed their numbers so often that even family members can’t find them. How dumb is that?
I couldn’t imagine changing the home phone number and yes, it is still a landline. I have enough problems trying to remember DH’s cell phone number and mine. I still don’t have the numbers memorized. I have to carry them around in my little address book.
Is this CRS or do I have so much on my mind, there’s no room for extras? I tend to think the latter. You try writing five books at once. Post Its™ are my best friends.
Posted in Misc, Writer, Writing
Tags: Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Writer, Writing
There’s a rubber room out there with my name on it
Posted by doggonedmysteries
DH’s mother is back in the hospital. This is not good for him. His stress level is through the roof. I try to make certain that things at home run smoothly and do my best not to ask him for anything right now.
It isn’t easy since the pond is filling with leaves, even though I skim it every day. I can’t put the netting to keep the leaves out on it alone. Heck, there are so many leaves in the yard, it’ll take me at least a month to rake them all and there are still tons on our trees. The kitchen lights need replacing—I hate climbing ladders.
There’s been another death in the family. We won’t go there.
My car’s inspection cost us a small fortune on Friday. Patty is acting out of character and I’m wondering if we’re in for another vet run.
“Hello, is this the Peaceful Valley Funny Farm? I was wondering if I could make a reservation.”
“What sort of accommodations were you looking for?”
“Do you have any spare rubber rooms?”
Posted in Misc, MS related
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Writer, Writing
Silly things
Posted by doggonedmysteries
I’ve mentioned before that I enjoy silly things. The other day I was browsing through Amazon.com and came across adhesive bandages that cracked me up so bad I had to order some. I’m glad I did because once they arrived I found them to be even funnier.
I have mini handcuffs dangling from my purse. I have a crime scene clean up company pen I carry all the time. Now I have crime scene tape bandages. They are hysterical. On the tin, there’s a line, “For best results apply to body parts not already outlined in chalk.” I should’ve bought a case.
I ought to stay out of that place. Not only can I buy any books I want but they also have silly stuff. I think I need to lock up my credit card. Is there an ‘I shop too much at Amazon’ anonymous? “Hello, my name is M and I’m an Amazon shopaholic.”
“Hello M.”
Did you see the robot pencil sharpener? I can see me with the barnyard flingers that make noises as they fly through the air…
Oooo! They have a winter scarf that looks like crime scene tape. Where did I hide my card?
Posted in Misc
Tags: Amazon.com, Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Crime scene, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Writer, Writing
They can has gummies
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Occasionally my sweet tooth gets out of hand and demands I scarf down something sweet. Today was one of those occasions. Fortunately, I have a ton of Halloween candy on hand. I could pick and choose, but thought I’d best stick with something less calorie laden than some of those oh so rich chocolate caramel bars.
I spotted a large bag of snack-sized bags of gummy spiders, mummies, and monster shapes. Ah, not only could I curb my sugar craves, but I could also set up the ice cubes I wanted to make for our party.
Once I had the spooky gummies in the ice cube trays and had them back in the freezer I was ready to indulge myself on what was left in one little bag.
I curled up in my lounge chair, sat back, and began to chew on one. The next thing I knew I had a dog’s head on each knee. Two pair of triangular black eyes stared into mine. I tried to ignore them as I popped a second gummy into my mouth.
Gavin and Patty know all about gummies they love them and will drool like crazy as soon as they smell them. By the third gummy, they had my knees soaked. I looked in the bag and there were two little gummy spiders left. Gavin and Patty will gulp things down without tasting them. However, when it comes to gummies they chew and chew and chew them.
“Can we has the last two gummies?” Those eyes and all that drool….
I am weak. I am a big softie.
Posted in Dog related
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Food, Gummy candies, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Stop me before I buy more!
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Many of my Halloween decorations are old and worn out. Therefore, the last few years I’ve been buying new stuff and slowly throwing away the old, decrepit, and falling apart decorations.
I should have myself banned from Spirit Halloween. G and I went up there today to get HER costume. I should’ve left my money at home because I found another prop I loved. Yes, I bought it. Yes, she got her costume too.
What I went up for and intending to buy was fog machine cleaner and fog juice. I did get those.
However, I am the proverbial kid in a candy store. I also found something irresistible to any writer—fun pens. I now have a boxing vampire pen and two pens that look like blood filled syringes.
If I go to the store again, I may need an intervention…
Posted in Holidays, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Costume, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, Fog machine, Halloween, Holiday, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Parties, shopping, Writer, Writing
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