Blog Archives
The old dog needs a new trick
Posted by doggonedmysteries
DH points a finger gun at the dogs. “Stick ‘em up.”
Patty’s paws shoot for the ceiling and she balances perfectly. She gets a cookie. Gavin raises one paw and gives a bit of hop with the other. That’s the best he’s going to give DH. He’s not fond of the trick since he can’t sit up and hold his balance. He gets a cookie anyway.
DH is bored. The dogs are bored. The hot weather is keeping DH in the house. TV sucks there’s nothing on worth watching during the day. DH wants to teach them a new trick.
I told DH to try teaching them to roll over because Gavin excels at lying down. He’s not getting any younger. Gavin will be nine in November. The poor dog is beginning to show his age a bit. His bully runs are not as frequent nor do they last as long. He not only takes naps but the dog goes to bed at seven in the evening.
This should be interesting. Patty is smart and quick on the uptake. Gavin figures if it isn’t give paw, down, or kennel up, it’s not worth learning but then again there is that promise of a cookie…
Posted in Dog related, hobbies, Misc, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, dog tricks, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Surprise! A new look.
Posted by doggonedmysteries
I thought it was time for a change. I hope you like it. One thing I noticed was the print is larger, which I like. However, it is lighter, which I don’t like.
I may have to play a little.
The Blogrolls are now on the bottom of the page along with everything else that isn’t a post. Not sure if I like that, but we’ll see.
This is going to take some getting used to. I hope you all like the changes. If not, let me know. I do want your opinions.
Posted in Misc, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Fish, Food, Gardening, Gardens, Home, Humor, Koi, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pennwriters, Pets, Pond, Ponds, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Dog gone dog home
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Things were somewhat quiet at the MIL’s house today. We should’ve figured it was too quiet and was the hush before the next squall.
Five this afternoon I was out weeding the gardens when I saw DH hobbling to his truck. “Where are you going? It’s almost time for me to start dinner.”
“My mom’s again.” This would be trip number three for the day. “The dog got out.” His mother has an elderly Border terrier who, like most terriers, even at his old age is still fast on his feet. She should have some old roly-poly dog that can’t get out of its own way.
“Want me to come along? Drive you over?”
“No. Go ahead and finish what you’re doing.”
“I won’t start dinner until you get back.”
“Okay.”
Three hours later, he came dragging in the door. He hadn’t found the dog. His mother was in hysterics and we both knew she’d make his life hell if the dog never came home. The poor man was distressed and beyond tired. It was late, I made dinner, we ate, and soon afterwards, he went to bed.
Around ten p.m. the phone rang, it was the MIL, some woman showed up at her door with the dog. DH mustn’t have been sleeping well worrying about the dog, because as soon as I hung up the phone, he called downstairs and asked me what was up. He knew it was his mother, she has a special ring on our phone, and it sounds as frantic as her constant calls.
“The dog is home.”
“Thank God.” He went back to bed.
Posted in Dog related, Misc, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
How to repair a hole in a wall
Posted by doggonedmysteries
There’s a hole in the wall behind Patty’s crate.
How did that get there?
The idiot dog put it there.
Sure, blame the dog.
Really, she did it. No, she didn’t use a hammer or put her paw through it, she used her crate.
Patty is a high energy Bull Terrier. Patty will run full tilt into her crate and slam into the back of it. One of these days, I expect to find her unconscious in there with that I-meant-to-do-it look on her face. The last time she ran full tilt into her crate, it hit the wall so hard that it knocked a hole in the plaster. It’s not dry wall this is an old plaster and lath wall.
I will clear away any loose dust and plaster and undercut the edges. I’ll dampen the hole and edges, fill it with patching plaster, not quite even to the wall, and then score the surface of the patching plaster. Let it dry for 24 hours. Then I’ll apply joint compound even with the rest of the wall. This doesn’t have to be perfect since I painted the wall with textured paint, which I’ll apply after the joint compound is dry.
Have I done this before? Oh, yeah. Many times, between DH’s frequent falls and two high energy BTs I’ve become an expert.
Posted in Dog related, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, DIY, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Home repairs, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, the dog did it, Writer, Writing
The pups are after the compost bin again
Posted by doggonedmysteries
I have a compost bin. We do the coffee grounds, tea bags, any kitchen waste that’s not meat—all of it goes in the compost heap. There’s one teensy problem though. We put banana peels in there because they are great for the garden. The problem is with the banana peels I have to keep the bin blocked off so the dogs can’t get near it.
You see my dogs adore bananas. You could say they are bananas for bananas. We can’t open a peel without having the two dogs plaster themselves to our side until they each get some. Therefore, they would scavenge the peels from the compost pile if they could.
Last year Gavin tried his darnedest to climb into the bin because he smelled his favorite treat in there. In an instant he was stuck. I then had to climb over obstacles to pry him out of there. I need a better way to block the bin.
Yesterday Patty attempted a raid on the bin. With her long legs, she might have made it. It’s a good thing she was on the retractable leash at the time.
Posted in Dog related, My blog, my garden, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Gardening, Gardens, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Missed that photo op
Posted by doggonedmysteries
High jinks come on the heels of days of rain and chilly temperatures. Both dogs and owners are bored. Is there a better time to play games, then on a rainy day?
We played hide the cookies and do you remember this trick? Gavin and Patty will do almost anything for a cookie. I’d wind them up and put them through their paces. Gavin is faster at doing a down than Patty is. She’s not fond of that trick I think she has issues. Patty does a pretty stick ‘em up. Gavin hasn’t her balance but he beats her paws up on doing a down.
Patty sense of smell is sharper than Gavin’s but I think his vision is better than hers is. Gavin easily frustrates where Patty has patience. Patty gets wild and hucklebutts on the couch while Gavin dashes from kitchen to living room and back again.
Finally, tired out Gavin settled next to me in my chair and soon was snoring. Patty hopped into her Daddy’s chair, rolled upside down with paws in the air and soft snores soon came from that direction. Dang it the camera was in the kitchen and Gavin was asleep with his head on my shoulder. I wasn’t getting that picture.
Posted in Dog related, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Photo I wished I'd taken, photo ops missed, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Pilling the dogs
Posted by doggonedmysteries
We should own stock in the OTC allergy medicine company. I take two a day, the vet has Gavin on three a day, and Patty is on two. Then there are days when the pollen count is high and even DH needs them.
Pilling a Bull Terrier isn’t easy when you have one like Gavin. You want to what? Open my mouth? I don’t think so. Our vet has collapsed in the giggles while trying to get a look inside Gavin’s mouth and he’s a big guy. Gavin will clamp his mouth shut and you can’t get in there with a crow bar. On the other hand, Patty is easy.
At least she’s easy if she hasn’t seen you give Gavin his pill. Gavin gets peanut butter on a spoon with his pill on top. He’d eat a building if you covered it in peanut butter. Patty sees him get peanut butter and she wants hers served the same way.
I don’t blame her I like peanut butter too but I like mine on crackers or in a sandwich with jelly. Have you ever tried a peanut butter and jalapeño jelly sandwich? It’s good. Yeah, I’m weird.
Posted in Dog related, Food, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Food, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Can two objects occupy the same space?
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Today Gavin proved that the answer to that question is no. How did he prove it? Well, that’s the story for tonight.
I had Gavin out in the yard. He was behaving, sniffing around looking for a place to mark, when the kids across the street began doing a mad dash up and down the sidewalk. Gavin got excited and began to bark at them. Me, being the idiot I am, decided it was time to leash him and take him inside before he became too wound up.
He was standing still at the front fence barking at the kids. I reached for his collar to snap on the leash so I could drag him away from the fence. At that moment he decided to dart to his left. Where was I standing? I was at his left.
Now if you’ve never met a Bull Terrier in person you have no concept of what their heads are like. Think cinder block and you’ll have a decent idea.
Think fast, if I was at his left, and he dashed to his left, can two objects occupy the same space at the same time? The previously mentioned objects being Gavin’s cinder block head and my freaking knee, I say NAY. I also said ouch, and many other words in a sailor’s vernacular that tinged the air around me a lovely, bright shade of blue.
Yeah, go ahead and call me a klutz. You can even call Gavin an idiot for not looking where he was going. Now, if you all will excuse me, I need to pack my knee in ice again.
Posted in Dog related, Misc, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, can two objects occupy the same space?, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, relative theories and all that stuff, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
How to bathe the dog
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Gorgeous weather today made the pups miserable. Actually it wasn’t the day itself it was what I did to them. Smelly Gavin and stinky Patty got baths. I am on their LIST. After they had their baths and were dry, their majesties did their utmost best to let me know that I’d gone to the top of their LIST. I rose higher on the LIST than squirrels, annoying kids, strange dogs who pee on their fence, and a late dinner.
I did not apologize to them. They reeked and were in dire need of baths. You’d think they’d want to be nice and clean sweet-smelling dogs. Nope, they’d rather smell horrible. It’s a dog thing.
How to bathe Patty: A) Keep her from hiding in either crate by closing the doors. B) Drag her upstairs to the bathroom. C) Lift her 65 lb limp, dead weight into the tub. D) Begin the torture of bathing. E) Spread a towel on the floor, drop a cookie, and back up. F) Dry her. G) Release her from the bathroom to have her karoom down the steps and around the downstairs. H) Crate her with a cookie reward until she’s dry.
How to bathe Gavin: A) Show him a cookie. B) Tell him “Let’s go bed bouncing.” C) Follow him upstairs. D) Throw the cookie into the tub and watch him hop into it. E) Close shower doors so he doesn’t jump back out. F) Begin his torture—you mean get me wet all over? G) Hose him down, get soaked when he shakes. H) Soap him, get soaked when shakes. I) Rinse him, get soaked when he shakes. J) Step back, get soaked when he shakes. K) Dry him, get soaked when shakes. L) Release him from the bathroom. M) Crate him with a cookie. N) Go dry all the walls and the floor of the bathroom. O) Change into dry clothes.
Posted in Dog related, My blog, Weather related, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Two dogs on a rainy day
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Gavin rings the sleigh bells on the back porch door. “Wanna go out, NOW.”
“Hold on let me get a jacket.” I snag one off the hooks by the door. The bells are still ringing. “I’m right here. Stop with the bells already.”
We get outside and it’s raining.
Gavin runs for the door. “Wanna go in, NOW.”
We go in. Gavin doesn’t tell Patty it is raining. Patty wants out. I take her.
A raindrop hits her on the head she tucks her tail and reverses gears. “In. I wanna go in. Oh, please let’s go in.”
We go in.
Both dogs dance around in front of the cupboard. “Cookies! Don’t forget the cookies!” Gavin yells.
Patty sits and throws her front paws high in the air. “Stick ‘em up, I’m doing stick ‘em up! Give me a cookie.”
I give them their cookies, settle down in front of the computer and begin writing.
Five minutes later Gavin is ringing the bells to go out. “I’m bored. Wanna go out, NOW.”
Patty runs to join him. “If he’s going, I am too.”
“It’s still raining.” I tell them as I grab my jacket. Reread.
Posted in Dog related, My blog, Weather related, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
What’s black and white and smells bad?
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Or, where’s Billy the exterminator when you need him? Have you seen that program? He’s a hoot.
I should’ve known there was a problem outside when Gavin stood at the back door sniffing at it like crazy. As soon as I opened it, he began to bark and the hair on his back stood on end. A single sniff on my part revealed the problem, at which point I decided that neither dog needed to go outside. Somewhere out in the night our odiferous visitor was lurking. Yes, the skunk is back.
A couple of years ago they’d dug under G’s kitchen to nest. It was not a very pleasant thing when they let loose under there and stunk up the entire house on more than one occasion. Then her DH redid their deck. When he had it torn up, he put heavy duty weld wire all around the foundation of the house. The skunk moved down the street.
We hoped that the skunk had gone to play in the traffic and left our neighborhood permanently. Nope, no such luck. Heeeee’s baaaack.
Posted in Dog related, Misc, My blog, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
The trespasser
Posted by doggonedmysteries
Gavin and Patty jockeyed for the best position at the kitchen window. They wanted to see and bark at the dark stranger in the yard. He ignored them.
Gavin barked, “My yard!”
Patty yodeled, “Get out. You don’t belong there.”
Gavin ran to the back door and rang the sleigh bells like a street corner Santa on speed. “Let me at him.”
Patty leapt upon the radiator. “Why I oughta…”
“Quiet you two. Enough!” I dragged Patty off the radiator and backed Gavin away from the bells. “One more peep out of you and you’ll kennel up until you cool down.”
DH yelled down the stairs, “What the heck is with them?”
“Woo, Woo, Woof!”
“That’s it. Kennels.”
They retreated to their crates and I closed the doors behind them. Then I went to the bottom of the stairs to thank DH for the ruckus.
“You had to mention there was a big old crow in the yard using words they know didn’t you?”
“What?”
“You said, ‘look, outside, and yard’ and you used an excited tone. They ran to look outside and saw the damned crow.”
“Oh. Sorry about that.”
{Sigh} Is there such a thing as a quiet day?
Posted in Dog related, Misc, Writer, Writing
Tags: Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing
Doggonedmysteries 