How many ways can you say crazy?
Tonight a friend of mine (Jackie) and I were discussing the many ways you can say crazy. There were the old stand bys of one sandwich shy of a picnic, his elevator doesn’t go to the top (some even say it hasn’t left the ground floor), the lights are on, but nobody is home. Then she hit me with ‘her cheese has slid off her cracker’ and I fell on the floor.
It was downhill from there. We got worse. They came swiftly nuttier than a fruitcake, one step short of Bedlam, and answering the cuckoo. He’s one taco short of a combo plate, one brick short of a load, one egg roll short of a PuPu platter. His rocket is not working on all thrusters.
And worse. She’s such an air head, that the only thing that keeps things from going in one ear and out the other, is the “For Rent” sign in the middle. He is a few fries short of a happy meal. He has verbal diarrhea and mental constipation. I think her sewing machine is out of thread. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
Have you any to add?
Posted on November 18, 2009, in Misc, My blog, Writer, Writing and tagged Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Doggoned, Family, Fiction, funny, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Writer, Writing. Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.
Doggonedmysteries 
51 cards short of a full deck, halfway to out of space without a rocket ship, his thoughts are lost in translation. Probably far too many ways to insinuate the same thing, but I do like the sewing machine being out of thread. I hadn’t heard that one before.
My favourite: He’d be the first to admit he was slow, well actually he’d be a bit further down in the que.
Feargy
http://anactorslife.wordpress.com
The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead.
sanity-challenged, or reality-challenged.
Took a dive off the crazy cliff.
I know, not that great, but different maybe.
She is not the brightest crayon in the box or
He is one sandwich short of a picnic.
{Giggle} Oh, you guys are good! You should’ve been in on the conversation last night. {My sides still hurt from all the giggling.)
DH adds not the sharpest tool in the shed or knife in the drawer.
Now I’m greeedy for more giggles…come on!
here’s a couple for ya he’s 1/2 a bubble off & as bright as a lightbulb painted black with the electricty shut off
“Hehehe,” Dave says with a snicker, “you ask for it.”
Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn’t watching.
A room temperature IQ.
Got a full 6 pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
A gross ignoramus, 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
A prime candidate for natural deselection.
Bright as Alaska in December.
One celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
Fell out of the family tree.
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
So dense, light bends around him.
If brains were taxed, he’d get a rebate.
Any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
Give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.
Stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
One neuron short of a synapse.
Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
Should not be allowed to breed.
Sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
Should go far – and the sooner, the better.
Depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
Not so much of a has been, more of a definite won’t be.
Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
Opens her mouth only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
Has delusions of adequacy.
Has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
If dumb was rich, he’d be Midas.
OOO, I forgot a half bubble off plumb…thanks Jimjim!
OMG! {trying to type while collapsed on the floor in a severe case of the giggles) I always did say you had a way with words Dave. I dare everyone to try to top Dave’s list.
Oooooh Dave, never met you but heard lots about your misadventures at the writer’s conference lol. ‘Fraid I can’t top yours, either
I can’t lay claim to creating all of those.
Dumber than a bag of hammers.
Dumber than a Tic-Tac
Has the IQ of a rutabaga.
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