How to bathe the dog
Gorgeous weather today made the pups miserable. Actually it wasn’t the day itself it was what I did to them. Smelly Gavin and stinky Patty got baths. I am on their LIST. After they had their baths and were dry, their majesties did their utmost best to let me know that I’d gone to the top of their LIST. I rose higher on the LIST than squirrels, annoying kids, strange dogs who pee on their fence, and a late dinner.
I did not apologize to them. They reeked and were in dire need of baths. You’d think they’d want to be nice and clean sweet-smelling dogs. Nope, they’d rather smell horrible. It’s a dog thing.
How to bathe Patty: A) Keep her from hiding in either crate by closing the doors. B) Drag her upstairs to the bathroom. C) Lift her 65 lb limp, dead weight into the tub. D) Begin the torture of bathing. E) Spread a towel on the floor, drop a cookie, and back up. F) Dry her. G) Release her from the bathroom to have her karoom down the steps and around the downstairs. H) Crate her with a cookie reward until she’s dry.
How to bathe Gavin: A) Show him a cookie. B) Tell him “Let’s go bed bouncing.” C) Follow him upstairs. D) Throw the cookie into the tub and watch him hop into it. E) Close shower doors so he doesn’t jump back out. F) Begin his torture—you mean get me wet all over? G) Hose him down, get soaked when he shakes. H) Soap him, get soaked when shakes. I) Rinse him, get soaked when he shakes. J) Step back, get soaked when he shakes. K) Dry him, get soaked when shakes. L) Release him from the bathroom. M) Crate him with a cookie. N) Go dry all the walls and the floor of the bathroom. O) Change into dry clothes.
Posted on April 5, 2010, in Dog related, My blog, Weather related, Writer, Writing and tagged Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.
Doggonedmysteries 
I am super impressed with the organized way in which the pups get bathed. Over the years, all my pups came up with dramatic ways in which to share their displeasure. My favorite was Zeus, a dobbie foster, who after proving to be a perfect house dog, disappeared soaking wet only to be found in my bed under the covers drying off!
I laughed so hard he had to come out to see what I was doing.
Smart Dobie. That’s why all the bedroom doors were closed when I took them upstairs. No place to go but into the bathroom or back down. 😉
I strip down to my underwear when it’s time to give my girls their baths … well, not the JRT, but definitely the Labrador!!!
And what do *you* get as a reward?!
Um…I don’t have to share my chair with a smelly dog?
Ah, the memories! I’ve learned that diced ham will entice them, warm/hot water will cause them to lounge in the tub and drawing the ‘impenetrable plastic shield’ will keep them in the tub. Keep the treats coming, their heads dry and it’s a nice party all around. My Hubby warms their towels in the dryer and lifts them in and out for me. The first chance outside and it’s roll, roll, roll…
Now is that roll, roll, roll…in the stinkiest thing they can find? If not, you haven’t lived… 😉
Our Brittany loved to roll in the grass after a bath. But she was also a master (mistress? She was female, after all!) of finding the one pile of dogs**t or half rotted bird in the yard and diving in.
I lost track of how many times she got 2 baths in one day.
If there be only one teensy source of stinkiness in our yard these two will find it.