If you can climb trees and aren’t squeamish about taking out a few squirrels, have I got a job for you.  The squirrel pulled a daylight raid on the tomatoes and dared, DARED to nibble on some of my heirloom tomatoes.  It didn’t pull them from the vine.  No, it chewed a bit here on one and a bit there on another. 

     I picked all the ripe and almost ripe tomatoes I could find.  Later, the danged tree rat left a half eaten half green tomato right where it knew I’d walk just to show me it could get at them any time.  I think it’s teaching its children to go after my tomatoes too.

     I guess I need to take out a contract on the tree rat and family.

     “Hello, is Mr. R. T. Hawk?”

     “Yeah, that’s me.”

     “I need to hire you.  I’m having this problem with a squirrel.”

     “It’s just the one?”

     “Well, not exactly.  I think there’s a nest of them.”

     “Hmmm, young tree rats are quite tasty…um…er…I mean, I’ll do the job for you on the cheap.”

     “Thank you.  I hope you can do it before all my tomatoes are gone.”

     “No problem.”